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Carol, I will support you and your project in the memory of Melanie.
god is always GREAT and will never leave us alone.

God bless!

Carmela

Thank you for unselfishly posting your heart and experience. I too an trying to raise awareness through my school english class and project. I'm a 31 year old new mom who dealt with severe PPD and have made it to the other side. Mom's need to stand together not judge.

Carol,

God bless you and this website for bringing Postpartum Psychosis out of the dark. In 2008 ten weeks after I had my son, I attempted to end my life. Thanks to swift medical intervention and the support of my husban, mother, brother and friends I found my way back to the joy and happiness of my life. It was not an easy road but so well worth it in the end. Karla Linehan

Hello melanie. I support your battle :-)

Wow I just had a baby 5 months ago and I think I'm suffering from PPD but a milder version of it. I'm very sorry for your loss

My name is Keri,and i too suffered from the nightmare called post partum phycosis.I was put in the hospital twice and it took a year (at least)to recover.Woman need to be made aware of this illness,i didn't know what was happening to me.I'am so verry sorry for your loss.Keep up the good work. :-)

This is a great thing you have done for your daughter. I hope that through her memory others may become aware of this unfortunate disorder. :-)

I remember suffering from PPD a few years ago. It took me a long time to recognize it. I think there was this hidden fear of my life never being the same again if I came to terms with it. Truth is I will never will be the same. Though I will always have regrets of those dark thoughts and moments I am grateful for getting through it and having a stronger understanding. It has brought me to a point where I can try to help raise awareness to friends and family. For them to simply recognize that there is a potential for this debilitating condition and to recognize any signs can help greatly. I am also thankful for those who are pushing policymakers to do more to treat mothers suffering from postpartum depression and psychosis.

I suffered PPD 3 years ago. My heart goes out to your family.

I recently lost my sister-in-law to postpartum phychosis. She committed suicide and left behind a wonderful husband and two beautiful children;a 9 month old daughter and a 3 year old son. I am heartbroken beyond belief. I want to thank-you for your strength. I hope to understand more about this terrible disease. Keep fighting the fight!

My condolences to you on the loss of your precious daughter...I am searching for help for our daughter,and have been unable to get help...I think she is very ill and has been since the baby was a couple of weeks old..I will call you...Thank-you for all of your work..

Congratulations Mrs. Blocker of your success with the precedent setting legislation in Melanie's name. It is a triumph well worthy of your efforts!

As well, every good wish for you and your loved ones of this day and always!

Happy Birthday! And joy filled returns of this special time!

Very Sincerely,

Trace Lawrence

I am so sorry for your loss and sm happy that your grandaughter is fine. Too often these things end with the family feeling the loss of both the mother and the child. Melanie is with God now and may he watch over your family in this trying time.

After hearing Melonies Mom speak this morning at Christ Hospital, it has moved me to help others. I work for OB/GYN's and hope to come up with better strategies to help our Mothers in the fight against Post-Partum Depression and Psychosis. Thank you for your story and GOD BLESS.

thanks for sharing your daughters story and for letting us know that this is a battle that can be won.

Hi Carol, this is Samantha, your waitress from the Medici on 57th this afternoon! After you left this afternoon, the whole staff of women at the Medici and I talked about PPD and the story you shared with me today. I want to thank you for everything you have done and are continuing to do for women everywhere. I really hope that you are proud of yourself and your wonderful journey. I am sorry that you had to live through what happened with your daughter but always, always remember that you have changed the lives, prolonged the lives of eventually millions of women and children. You have saved an unlimited amount of women children and families. It is a wonderful thing you have done for us. You lost a wonderful life, but your daughter is proud of you for what you have done. Thank you so much.

May the Lord send his angels to women around the world. May these angels aid in delivery and care of children and their mother's who need unmatched strength to raise a new soul. Stay strong ladies and get help when you know you need it!

This story brought me to tears, I had severy PPD/A after the birth of my 2nd daughter in July 2009 and still feel the side effects... Please keep this going..This needs to known that it is not all bliss..There needs to be more awareness and education. Thank you

I would like to start by saying that I am very sorry to hear of your loss. And I am very sorry for everything I have ever said about anyone who has done something out of their control while affected by a mental disorder. My sister had her 3rd child 7 weeks ago and has since been diagnosed with postpartum psychosis. It is by far the worst thing I have ever been through. I am trying my best to be there for her and to make sure that she is not given the chance to harm herself or her children. I absolutely hate watching this unfold but more than that I hate that I ever had a bad thought when I heard of famous cases such as melanie's. I now truly know that it is a sickness that the world needs to be educated on.

I am very sorry for your loss. I commend you on your efforts.

After hearing Melonies Mom speak this morning at Christ Hospital, it has moved me to help others. I work for OB/GYN's and hope to come up with better strategies to help our Mothers in the fight against Post-Partum Depression and Psychosis. Thank you for your story and GOD BLESS.

Thank you for raising awareness about this devastating illness. My wife developed PPP after the birth of our 2nd child and it almost destroyed our family. Thank God for having given me the strenght and for surrounding our family with so much support.

Thank you for sharing Melanie's story and helping to make it more okay for all of us to talk about this...and for helping push for change in health care.

I'm so sorry for all that you and your family has endured. I think the work you are doing in your daughter's memory is truly wonderful. I never experienced PPD myself, but I have two young boys and suffer from depresion and anxiety, and that can make some days very difficult. God bless you for trying to help others b/c of what you have faced in your own life experiences. Your daughter is surely smiling down from heaven. :-)

I'm not sure why I was led to your site, but Melanie's story touched me. I am about to become a grandmother for the first time in a couple of months. Afer reading about Melanie, I will be vigilant after my daughter- in- law gives birth to support her if she seems to be in trouble. (Just as you were.)
May God bless you and your grand-daughter.

I remember reading your story a while ago after I was reading and researching post partum depression and psychosis. I suffered horrible psychosis after my second daughter was born. It is so real and so scary. People don't understand how aweful it is and will not understand until people like you push to make it real. Even doctors don't know how to handle it and ER doctors are the worst!!! They have no idea and are not trained to handle these delicate situations. I almost killed myself on the way home from the ER after being treated like I was a freak and there was nothing they could do for me :-( Anyway, thank you for the awareness that you are bringing to this subject!

My deep condolences goes out to you and i think it is great that you are doing this.

I am so sorry for your loss and sm happy that your grandaughter is fine. Too often these things end with the family feeling the loss of both the mother and the child. Melanie is with God now and may he watch over your family in this trying time.

Hello. I was at the Oprah show to see you and your family, the show was cancelled, that date was September 11, a day America will never forget. I also will never forget when I was invited back at another time to see the show. I had suffered from Post Partum depression, and knew what it felt like to be in the gripes of this awful disease. I am so sorry about your daughter. Words cannot express~~~~
God Bless you~~~~

What a heart breaking article about your daughter. I am so sorry for your loss, but I am glad that her child and widowed husband has such a wonderful support system. You have done a great job and this website is touching, and very informative. I've learned a lot I never knew.

:-) Your daughter, Melanie, was so lovely in the pictures - now, she is a beautiful angel, watching over her little baby girl from Heaven.
You are a wonderful Mommy, Carol.
God Bless. xoxo

It is wonderful that you are doing this for your daughter. It is so hard to lose loved ones. Thank you for making people aware. I am an expecting mother myself and i will now know when to get help. You are a wonderful women.

What a wonderful mother you are... your daughter did not lose her life in vain. So many people suffer from depression (myself included).... thanks for being a voice for the people that do not have a voice because of their illness.

God bless you and all you do my sister-in-law is in hopital with postpartum psychosis it came on very quickly i pray the baby will be safe when she gets out i am so worried about my 3 mo old niece thanks for all the information your granddaughter is beautiful stephanie

Mrs. Blocker,

Thank you so much for all of your work to educate others about this illness! You and Melanie have provided great life models for all. Though it's not the same as having her 'here on earth', I hope it is comforting to see Melanie in Sommer's eyes.

God bless you :-)

May our Almighty God bless your family for all that you do in the name of Melanie. I knew her when she was a young teenager; such a beautiful girl, especially from the her heart. God had a perfect plan for Melanie and He has a perfect plan for all of us. You will always be in my prayers.

Terrible tragedy. The thing I don't quite understand is this: is it either a good thing or a bad thing to be a pharmaceutical sales manager? :confused:

I was blessed to have both Carol and Melanie Blocker in my life as a pre-teen. I have never forgotten the great kindness and warmth that they showed me during a particularly difficult time in my life. Melanie and Mrs. Blocker were a godsend to me. Although I lost contact with them both, through the years, my admiration for both of them will never ever end. Mrs. Blocker, thank you for introducing Melanie to me, and Melanie thank you for sharing your mom with me. Mrs. Blocker you still rock! You taught me to always push through adversity--I have and will with you in mind always.
Karen A. Chachere, Ph.D.

BTW: The AOL article was well done. OUTSTANDING WORK CAROL!

I will always love the Blocker family as my own. Melanie I miss your smile. I miss your friendship. I miss YOU! Love you forever! Fred Bates

Carol,

My husband Carlos and I met you in Borders Bookstore on Memorial Day. I went on your website that week. I just want you to know that the work you have done is so needed and shows such great honor and dedication to your beautiful daughter Melanie.

The Lord is truely divine in the way he works in that I would be going to an event at my friend's house who is an OB/GYN just minutes after I met you. I gave my friend your cards. I also got to speak to a midwife at the event.

I promise to pass this resource on to anyone that can use it. I am also so glad that my husband got a chance be reminded of Melanie's story as he sees many post-partum patients.

God bless you and your beautiful grandaughter Sommer and may the Lord continue to use both of your lives to do great works.

With Love,

Samara and Carlos Crudup + (Carly 3 yrs. and Caden 1 yr.)

CAROL...DOUBLE KUDOES!!!

CAROL...KUDOES TO YOU!

Hi my name is Shannon and I just read the article in the paper today about your family's struggle and the law being passed. First I just want to say I am so sorry for your loss , but thank you for doing your part for this cause. My son just turned a year and about 3 months after he was born post-partum hit me like a freight train I was in a out of the hospital 3 times and took a overdose of ambien because I could not sleep and was having dellusions. I am healthy now and am loving every moment with my child. I have a hard time with grieving the moments I lost when in the hospital. I actually got a apoligy from my doctors for not giving me the best care. But where is the awarness in this profession. I am very passionate about this cause and actually would like to get involved in work or volunteer if you know of any organizations please let me know. Thanks again for your fight Sincerely, Shannon and her son

Ms. Carol, I was truly moved by Melanie's story. I, too, can relate to some of what your family has gone through, and I must say that it takes a tremendous heart to be able to not only share your baby's story, but also to become that VOICE-- that advocate for others who, unfortunately can not speak for themselves and, more often than not, have no one to walk that journey with them. You are truly a GOD SEND! Little Ms.Summer is a very special & lucky child to have someone who will keep her mom's legacy alive, bring her illnes to the forfront, and ensure that that baby, and so many others, know that IN NO WAY are they to blame!!! Many blessings to you!

Thinking of Melananie on this Memorial Day !

Hi Carol,
God bless you in all your wonderful efforts. My sincere sympathy for losing your daughter. I just hope your story truly opens eyes to this issue. Good luck with everything.....

Carol - I'm so sorry to read Melanie's story. I knew Melanie briefly when she was a child. I believe you and I knew each other when we both attended attended Jr College in Chicago.

Peace to you...Phill

God Bless You and your Family and I hope the best for your effort. I would like to know how I can help anyone. In my country we believe that after postpartum , you have to take care of yourself for 40 days , or you risk your mental health. I had a aunt that suffer from postartum pshycosis for more than 40 years, she never recovery :-) .

I am glad you told your story, I also had this with my first son not as bad but being angry,sad,and the feeling of not knowing what was wrong with me,my mom took my son alot,I was scared. It took so long to get my mental state back. I so sorry for your loss. I am so glad you are doing what you are doing. I wish I would have knowen and could have been helped. My son is now is going to be 22 and love him and we are very close.

:-( aww i felso sorry for he lost my god bless you i hope yuh sil find he srengh to conutued your jerney

I went to Spelman with Melanie and I remember her being beautiful, friendly and lots of fun. I was saddenend to hear about her losing her battle to this terrible disease. Thank you so much for keeping Melanie's story and now Melanie's Law in forefront and fighting for those who have no voice and suffer in silence with this disease. May GOD bless you your granddaughter, son in law and your whole family. Keeping you in prayer.

May God bless this tremendous work...although birthed in tragedy, may you experience joy through the many lives that will be saved as a result of your unselfishness and compassion.

Just finished reading you daughters story it was very touching.God Bless you for being there for your grandbaby. May God give you the strength to continue on your journey.

Thank you for the work that you have done. I unfortunately suffered from Postpartum Psychosis in 2002 after the birth of my daughter. I really wished I knew about Melanie’s story then. I desperately looked for people who had my experience so I could know what to do. I was fortunate enough to have a team of OBs who recognized my illness and helped me get temporary disability and an extended maternity leave from my job. They also prescribed medication, followed up, suggested support groups and alternative treatments. I was lucky and with their help, my daughter and I survived that first year which was very lonely since I was a 41 y.o. single mother with little to no emotional support from family, except for my mother, due to my father's illness, Alzheimer's. I guess my silly baby blues seemed really silly to the rest of my family, if they only knew and understood? It was terrifying. Even now I tear up thinking about those dark times. I still thank god every day that someone understood my illness and knew what to do. Thank you for helping us all. I will do anything I can to help you.

Dearest Carol, I was so deeply touched and very saddened by your story. I just wanted to say, although I have not experienced this type of situation personally (I have three boys 24, 21 and 17) my heart goes out to you and your family. Carol I praise you and the great work you are doing in honor of your daughter Melanie, Son-in-law Sam and granddaughter Sommer. Carol, please know that your voice and message is being heard and the ripple effect of the awareness to such things that can happen, is astronomical. Thank you Carol for standing on the mountain top and sharing your heart wrenching story about this unfortunate life struggle that one can experience in life. God bless you and your beloved family Carol.

May God Bless you, you are a gift as your daughter and her daughter are as well.

I'm sorry to hear about what happened. It's sad that things like this have to happen before we really understand whats going on with people.

May God continue to bless your family. I pray that Melanie's Law continues to shed light on postpartum mental illness and causes the medical community to wake up, become more informed and better prepared to diagnose and treat this disease.

I thank God for giving me my daughters', they are his gift to me, they have become beautiful, smart and loving young ladies, we all have a blessful relationship together, and we all send our love and prayers to you and your famiy once again.

I am so sorry for your loss, wow may God Bless you and your family always...
I am a mother myself i have a son who will be 8 this year, and a husband who is a soldier, when I gave birth and our son was 4 months old my husband was deployed to Iraq to War, and I was raising our son for a year and a half, and i did also have postpartum depression, as well as chronic depression being a first time mom, and husband at war, nervous not knowing if my husband was ok or not, and in the mean time raising my son all alone, it was very hard, but i did go for help and till this day i am still seeing my psychiatrist and therapist once a week, and yes my husband came back safe, but hurt, but it's ok not bad, as long as we still have him, is what matters the most... Thank God,... I am very sorry.... Good Luck

Thank you for sharing your daughter's story and being so diligent in your efforts to get Melanies Law passed. May God Bless you, your family and Sommer all the days of your life, and may Melanie be in His arms and resting in peace.

Hi, I heard about your daughters' tragedy a few years after it happen, and I would like to say that it hurt my heart, I know what postpardum depression can do, because I went through it myself after my oldest daughter was born, now my oldest is 18 and I have a 16 yr.old who will be 17 in June of this year, and they are beautiful, and I love them both dearly from the bottom of my heart, they are my blessed gifts from God, and I thank him for having them, and giving me the striength to pull through, and I did pull through it, and I give all thanks again to the Lord God and my mother for seeing me through it all, my heart and prayers go out to you and your family. May God continue to Bless you and your family.

May God Bless You & Your Family..... Thanks for sharing your story and for helping other women.

Congratulations on a fight well fought! I am so happy that your time, effort, pain and devotion has finally paid off. Melanie was so beautiful, and I'm sure your grand-daughter will grow up to be just as beautiful and smart. Stay strong for her, and remind her each day how wonderful her mom really was!

After reading the story, looks like the black man took off like they always do. Hell, he didn't want anything to do with a half honky baby.
So much for interracial marriage.

Thank you for telling your story and for your courageous action. In 1963 I had an episode of postpartum psychosis, which at that time was completely unheard-of. Only God's grace and a miracle prevented me from doing dreadful harm to my infant. I an now 68 and still can barely think about it. Thank you so much for your courage in speaking out for all of us.

Dearest Carol, God bless you and your endeavor to help new mothers with postpartum depression. I remember with my first child was born and how depressed I was and how I couldn't understand why I felt the way I did. Like it was very dark outside all the time and life was blah. I cannot imagine the pain you suffered losing a child and I will pray for you, your beautiful Sommer Skyy and for perpetual peace for your precious Melanie. I hope and pray that new mothers will be able to find the help they need when they are feeling so despondent and that Melanie's death wasn't in vain. When the time comes for my two girls to give birth to their children, I will be sure to look for signs of depression and give the help and support they need.
God Bless

I am so touched by the story of your daughter. I think the work that you are doing is wonderful, in the memory of your daughter. Your granddaughter is blessed to be raised by you, and is a blessing for you.

I never new how serious this was until I read your daughter's story. I am glad you are a crusader for your daughter and the daughters of others. Keep up the fight.

I was so touched when I first read about your story. Having read this I feel that I need to help all people with mental disabilities, because there is such a stigma. I have know people who have committed suicide and the families are left so hurt. Wish you the best of lick on your endeavors!!

I pray that for your strength and I hope that her daughter will eventually know her mom was a beautiful woman. How tragic this happened and we all thank you for fighting for this bill to help one woman keep fighting her way back.

The work you have undertaken in your daughter's memory is awesome. On behalf of the many who have suffered major postpartum depression and psychotic disorders, those of us who managed by the grace of God to survive, those of us who would pray to never see this disorder strike at another woman in our lifetimes, and those - like you - whose families have given everything to save or attempt to save a woman so suffering, I thank you.

I was very touched by your story. I admire your strength in taken care of your granddaughter and being the guidance she needed. May God bless you.

Carol, your daughters story is so moving. I applaud your efforts and congrats witht he new bill being passed.

Carol, my heart goes out to you and Sommer. That adorable little girl had a rough start but she's lucky to have such a determinded grandmother.
I'm sure Melanie is proud of you for everything you've done in her honor to make sure that other women won't suffer in the same way she did.
God Bless you.

Carol, I honor your profound devotion to protect mothers and children. I offer my love and condolence to the loss of your beautiful Melanie, and I send hopes that your service work will protect countless babies and children, and their mothers. My niece and nephew have grown up without the love and nurtuing of their own beautiful mother due to undiagnosed postpartum illness. Watching their lifelong struggles without their mother speaks to the urgency of your work and voice for those unable to ask for help. God bless you and keep you strong and well for this important quest.

I'm so deeply sorry to read about this. When I read this, my heart automatically went out to you and your family and of course, the little baby Sommer.
This is truly devastating and I'm positive mothers around the world will be overly grateful for your pursue in making this illness known so another child will not walk this Earth, motherless.

Bless you so much, Carol. You're an incredibly strong women.

I am so sorry to hear about Melanie. I completely understand what she was going through. I, too, suffered from post partum depression for 5 years and 3 pregnancies. You see, it was never diagnosed and never treated until after the birth of my 3rd child. My husband was useless and instead of being empathetic, he was digusted by me and told me I was a horrible person. Back then, post partum depression was unheard of. I finally wound up going to the emergency room, with a nervous breakdown from his abuse and all these kids. I remember after my first child was born. I just could not deal with the responsiblity. I was obsessed about how I could convince my mother to take her. My husband spun this to prove I was a terrible person, much less a terrible mother. After the 3rd child was born, he convinced the older 2 that I loved the 3rd one more than them. To this day, I have no contact with my older children, now 22 & 20. My message is to not be ashamed of getting help. It is not you or the baby, it is a real illness. The sooner you get help, the sooner you will be able to enjoy your baby.

I was so saddened to hear about the lost of Melanie but your fight honors her life and who she was. Congratulations on the passage of Melanie's Law. You honor your daughter's name everyday in a special way. God Bless you and Melanie's little baby girl (her legacy) left in your care. Your work is awesome and you inspire others.

hi i am the ppd coordinator for india.i became overwhelmed when i read about melanie . all the best in your fight against this terrible disease.

I'm very sorry to hear about Melanie's story. As a mother I commend you on your great work, my family & I will add you to our prayers. best of luck, much love & happiness to you....

I rejoice with you and all women and their families upon the passage of Melanie's bill. Such a poignant story, such a beautiful daughter and grand-daughter and what a special woman you are! thanks you and may God bless you all.

God Bless Melanie, I have followed her journey and hope her daughter is doing well.

Congratulations on the passing of Melanie's Law!

I attended Spelman during the time that Melanie was there. Although we were not friends, we did have mutual friends and I remember her beautiful smile still today.

May God continue to keep you and your family comforted by his loving ermbrace.

Congratulations on the bill being passed. I remember well when Melanie died. That summer I also had a newborn and suffered from depression (not pp psychosis... but it was a miserable experience while it lasted.) It is confusing and terrible to be so sad at a time when our culture and media portray new motherhood as a time of unconditional happiness. I did get help , thankfully. It was a terrible summer (1999), - several cases of post-partum psychosis made the news (Texas and two in Chicago including Melanie). I'm grateful for your work as it is so important for the Mothers out there who need help. It is our job to "Mother the Mothers." Thanks again. Blessings to you, Summer, Sam and the rest of your family.

CONGRATS on the Melanie Blocker Stokes MOTHERS Act bill being passed!!!

I am a long-time client of Mr. Blocker and today, he informed me of the bill's passing.

I remember Melanie's story as if it were yesterday. Her death was such a senseless tragedy.

I have recently graduated from Loyola with a Master's in Social Work and am aware of the need for education and prevention in regards to PPD/PPP. This bill being passed is long overdue.

Mrs. Blocker, I commend you on your undying efforts to bring PPD/PPP to national awareness. Your courage, bravery, unwavering efforts has and will save the lives of many children and women. God Bless you, the Blocker and Stokes Family!!!

Congratulations on the latest success of all your hard work. Your committment, strength, and determination is amazing.

Dear one Carol, nothing will replace your loss...but I am so happy the Mothers Act has passed. Thank you for all of your work.

My wife and I would like to say congrats on the Melanie Blocker Stokes MOTHERS Act bill being passed. We are past clients and have followed the story from day one by newspaper, internet etc. We are bleesed to have met and done business with your family. Walter gave us a chance when nobody else would, and we are forever grateful. Congrats and keep fighting and pushing the cause.

I was sorry hear about your daughter how the doctor's did not diagnose her condition early. Not only have you lost your daughter but your granddaughter has lost the love of her mother and i commend you on being there for her and for not letting her forget who her mother was. God is truly blessing you and staying by your side.

Your daughter's story is saving my daughter's life. Your strength helps me know I can help her through. Each day is a struggle. It is so hard to watch this psychosis unfold. You are always in my thoughts...

Hello Ms Blocker,
You may remeber me I was one of your students Mother Vicente (Vince) Rodriguez. I would like to say you are such a inspiration to all the Mothers out there.I knew if anyone can make people take notice to this horrible condition that woman go through I knew it would be you.Please keep up with the great work.You are a amazing person and the woman are lucky to have you as there voice.
Laura Michener

Thank you for all you have done to promote awareness and better legislation for ppd and ppp. My sister has just has a ppp episode (gave birth 3 mos prior) and tried to hurt her 3-yr-old son with a knife (nobody was badly injured, thank goodness). She's being treated like a criminal in Alabama, and she succeeded in biting off part of her finger while in jail.
I'm working all hours trying to get her transferred to a hospital where she belongs and making sure she gets a fair trial.

I'm so sorry for your loss. I suffered terribly from PPD with daughter. Luckily, I got help in time. God bless you.

I have suffered from ppd for both my pregnancies and am pregnant now. So far it has been very good but I have had 3 dreams so far throughout the pregnancy where I have dreamed of hurting my oldest. It has been to the oldest for the two episodes. I have told my family that I will probably have a hard time after this baby is born in July (10th) yet I am still quite scared that it ppd will cross by my door. It has the other two times why not this time. I would pray that all my hair would fall out then to feel the insanity PPD gives me. Thank you for making people aware!!

I stuggled with this terrible diagnosis for months. Most frightening thing I have ever been through, and also for my loved ones. Honestly, I am very lucky I survived. I would love to help.

Hey Mrs. Blocker how have you been doing I'm really sorry that it took me this long to look into what Melaine was going through. I really hate you had to lose your only child this way. I've been trying to call you. Maybe you can call me 256-365-0106 your little Joe Louis from the sixth grade at Raymond School I love you and miss you so much in my life please call me.

Hello Carol,

My heart goes out to you and your family. Especially little Sommer Skyy. I worked with Melanie years ago at the Hyatt Regency Downtown Chicago. We became very good friends as well as co-workers. I would like to help you in any way that I can. I would be happy to know that I've helped in a way to make people more pro-active regarding their health. In this day and age, it is no longer just up to the doctor. You need to educate yourself and your family for the best possible solutions. Hopefully your quest to help others will come to pass and we can avoid future situations like Melanie's. She was an awesome person and would have made a wonderful mother.

Thanks For This Blog, was added to my bookmarks.

Awesome Post. I add this Blog to my bookmarks.

Hello Carol,

Your story has touched the hearts of many.I just want to say I am truely sorry for your loss.
I am a Pediatric nurse and I am now in the process of obtaining my Masters degree in Social Work. Since my undergraduate I have researched and written about Postpartum Depression, this is a topic I am very close to and want to make a difference in helping all indivials who suffer with and from PPD.May the Lord Bless you and your family.

:confused: i am in search for answer to my young daughters behavior. she gave birth eight months ago to a healthy beautiful daughter.she has been a wonderful mother up until ABOUT three weeks ago, now she does not even act like she has had a baby. her behavior has been so non caring that i believe that she is on drugs. is there such a condition this far from the delivery of her child, all of us are concerned about her bizarre behavior!!!! i am looking for answers please could you forward me any information.

You are very brave women. I am happy to see something will be done to help other women. I will pray for you

My heart goes out to you! I have a similar story as PPD hit me like a train after having my daughter, 5 years ago. I commend you for being the voice of Melanie, your loved one. We need you! I do allot of volunteer work for non profit organizations in my hometown. I aspire to some day be an advocate for the women who suffer from PPD, and do some of the great things you are doing. Mentally and emotionally though, I need to be certain I can handle it; I'm almost there. Thank you again. God Bless.

To Curtis, particularly,
I am SOOO sorry to hear of your loss! I stop in here occassionally and it is heartwrenching to see that so little has changed and these tragic outcomes to PPP still happen so regularly.
-Teresa
Survivor, PPP, PP-OCD, PP-PTSD, PPD

Hello Carol,
First, my condolences to you and your family on your loss. I am a 40ish yr old mother of three wonderful boys writing a paper on Postpartum Depression Disorder. I have returned to school after many years of focusing on my family and found you. I have cited your "Act" in my paper in hopes of spreading the word and helping push this through. With prayers let's rally it along!
Much Love and Regards,
Janet Blackstock

I feel it is an immediate urgency to human kind to make sure that it is not difficult for women to seek help. My sympathies go out to your family. Yours is a very unfortunate story.

TO ANYONE SUFFERING: MAKE THE CALL

To anyone seeing someone suffering: do not turn away from them - you will lose them somehow. If not by death then by lack of your compassion.

I could sit here forever and ramble on about all of the horrors I experienced after the daughter I longed for was born. But time is short for most. The most important aspect, and my lesson learned, is that you are alone. I talked openly to my spouse and begged him to help me. I spoke with a parenting educator, my doctor, and many others. It was not that I felt alone, I simply was alone.

I had a choice to die that day or seek help for myself BY MYSELF.

I somehow found the streingth to overcome the fear of making the call. It was the best choice of my life. One night, during a breakdown, I made calls to about 5 ppd therapists explaining my condition, how sick I was and that I needed help. I left my phone number with all of them. Over a week later I recieved a call from ONLY ONE of them.
THat one was my lifesaver.

I am a single mother now and my daughter is 2. We have the relationship I expected and a sweet partnership.
(cont. next msg)

I am searching the web to gain understanding into PPD and PPP. My dear friend Kelly took her life last Monday. My heart is broken into a 1,000 pieces. She left behind beautiful 3 month old daughter, husband, family and many loving friends. She had no hx of mental illness.

My desire is to learn more about this disease so I can educate about it.

I'm so sorry for your lose. I suffered from PPP and thank God had doctors who were familiar with it. It has been three years and I'm doing so much better. I would love to know how yo get involved in educating my community as well as be a support to those recovering or that are in the midst. I appreciate all that you are doing and please contact me with anything that I may help out with.

We love you Carol and thank you!

BROKEN MOMS MISSION

Broken Moms is a Public Health Awareness Organization founded in 2006. Our focus is on providing support, prayers, guidance, mental health wellness tools, parent education, and a community for Broken Moms in America.

:-)
This is my 1st visit to your website (I'm making my way through it)I am so sad that your family had to go through this horrible event in order to get the work out but I am happy that you have the strength to do it. I also went though PPD I have recovered and plan to do what I can in the PPD field. I have my Masters in Social Work and didn't know what I wanted to specialize in until it happened to me. There is not a lot of service available in NWI so I hope to add my name to the short list of providers in my area. I hope to use your website as support. Thank you

For the success stories, what was the best medication regimen and how did you convice your family with PPP to take their meds?

Carol, thanks for your support in helping my cousin's wife who is currently in a psychiatric ward in IL diagnosed with PPP. We will continue to pray and fight, like you said, we will continue to challenge the physicians!! The physician's seem just as lost sometimes!!

This website is so important for women who are suffering from Post Patrum Pscychosis and Post Partum Depression. I had serious thoughts of harming my baby but hurt myself instead. Luckily I got the help that I needed but it was a long road. Please take care of yourself and get the help that you need by asking for it. If no help is forthcoming keep on asking and ask again.

I wish doctor's would realize the severity of PPD. I suffered.. The best way to describe it is "PURE HELL"..

Great informative page. I pray for you and the suffering women..

Mrs. Blocker: I know of you of course by reading about your daughter, Melanie. I work with families in Head Start as a Mental Health Consultant and often have to refer expectant mothers to different programs, especially if they are experiencing feelings of dispair as a result of depression. My mom met you while in the grocery store and talked with you briefly about your daughter. I hope that the legislation that you have introduced and continue to fight for makes a differece to all women. Keep fighting for Melanie and for your grandaughter.
Maryann Scarborough

Awesome website. So sorry for the loss of your daughter. I am a survivor of PPD, but it nearly took my life and I did lose custody of my daughter. No one in my husbands family believe in PPD and I came close to losing everything. My husband now knows and believes and is a great support for me.
Keep up all your hard work.

THANK you so much for all of your work. I am a Licensed Professional Counselor in PA and hd struggles with my own PPD (likely psychosis in the first case). Because I am in the mental health field, my PCP wrote me off as being over sensitive and neurotic. I prepared more for the next time but it was still the worst time--I call it my own personal time of hell. I now faciliate a free support group for all post partum moms--whether they identify with PPD or not--and advocate for education, treatment and understanding. The stigma needs to be removed and we need to unite to support our mamms and their families! God Bless.

Thank you for putting all og this information out there, and for never giving up. After the birth of my first child I experienced postpartum psychosis. I had no idea what was going on, or how to stop it, and the culmination of months of distress and depression almost hurt my baby. By the grace of God, he is a healthy, happy almost eleven year old boy now, and I had no such symptoms after the birth of his brother, however, a decade ago no one knew or understood what was wrong with me or what to do about it. I saw an episode of the Oprah Winfrey Show and suddenly understood what had happened to me, and that there was help available should it happen again. So thank you, for getting this information out there, for sharing your experience with us all, and for taking steps to make sure that no woman is left without help and understanding.

I first heard of this legislation at the annual AWHONN convention. A family memeber had suffered from PPD, too. I called my Congressman to find out why he was one of the few who voted against HR 20, as was told that it would cost money, and that it was not an appropriate use of tax dollars. So sad this ignorance. I am spreading the word as much as I can, and hope all women can receive treatment as they need.

Hi Carol,

I just wanted to touch base with you. We have still not gone to court for my daughter's trial. Over 4.5 years and she is still in the Oakland County Jail awaiting her trial. We are again scheduled, the new date being 11/30/2009. I have been sharing what happened to Shontelle with everyone that will listen. I believe that when people are aware of Postpartum Psychosis, lives will be saved. When we don't know, as we didn't before our tragedy, we can lose our babies and/or the helpless mothers of these babies. In our case, we've lost my grand- daughter due to the illness and my daughter to a ruthless, uncaring legal system. I will forever fight for women and their families until Postpartum Psychosis is recognized along with the Baby Blues and Postpartum Depression.

Bless you Carol,

Gina

Thank you so much for talking about this serious issue that so many women and families have suffered with.

I checked out the website and I will continue to learn about the illness as much as possible. I wish you well on your journey.

Thank you for the website and sharing Melanie's story. I can see myself in so many ways. It's so hard to live with this. I still experience it often, but it is starting to get better, so thank you.

ppp it is really bad im going through it and no doctor knows anything about it at all i keep telling the doctor i need help but keep getting sent home this stuff sucks i hate it. so sad crying lots.. :eek:

i wish i knew how bad post partum could get, i wish i knew how hard motherhood was, i wish i didn't get to where i am now.

Hi. I had the baby blues for almost 2 weeks after my second child. During this period I couldn't eat or sleep. I was constantly crying and felt a constant hopelessness. Thank goodness it only lasted two weeks. When I became pregnant with my third child I was realy scared this would happen again. I called holistic pharmacists to see what I could do to prevent this and they recommended fish oil pills (omega 3's). I started taking Enfamil Expecta Lipil and ate a diet rich in omega 3's (watch out for the mercury content in some fish). I also asked people to pray for me and I prayed myself that I wouldn't go through the baby blues again. When I had my third child I did not have ANY baby blues or any signs of PPD. I'm not saying omega 3's are a cure all for severe PPD but it's definitely something to ask your doctor or pharmacist about. The prayers though definitely worked, praise God!

God bless you and your family and I pray that you will be successful in helping others with PPD.

God's Peace and Blessings Dear Sister Carol, How are We Feeling today SisterLove? I'm Honored to be counted among Melanie's Dear Morehouse and Spelman Friends and I'm Happy to Serve any way I can to Pass Meaningful Legislation to Help Others in Need. Thanks for this Great Website and for Your Commitment to this Noble Cause. Bless Up!

PRETERNATURAL MENSTRUAL SYNCHRONICITY: ASTROBIOLOGY 101 BY DR.JEWEL PULCHRUM

THE UTERIS AND THE MIND ARE LIKE 2 SIDES OF THE SAME COIN
EARTHLINGS OUGHT TO TREASURE THEM AS OUR MOST VALUABLE HEIRLOOM
WOMEN WHO LIVE TOGETHER ARE SUPERPOWERS WHEN OVULATING MENSTRUAL CYCLES JOIN
CAUSED BY THE 1ST BREATH EVERY GIRLCHILD TAKES COMING THROUGH THE WOMB
ON THAT DAY SISTERLOVE OPENS THE MATRIX OF LIFE AND MEANING
THE SOULGROUP HEAVEN SENT TO EARTH FOR SPIRITUAL SPRING CLEANING

Love, Joy. Peace and Elbow Grease in Loving Memory of Our Dearly Beloved Sister Mel B. by Basic Black Eagle

I know the bill passed the House. I sincerely hope it passes the Senate. Good Luck

Wow, I am so glad to see this support page for those who are suffering! I had my own battle with PPD 9 years ago after the birth of my first child. Even though I had my family and my Christian faith I remember feeling very scared and alone. I also remember pleading with God that if he would stop me from feeling this way I would tell everyone I knew that I survived it, and better days will come again, and let me tell you not only did I come out on the other side happy and healthy I am now the mother of two beautiful children. Thank God for all the wonderful resources that are out there for new mothers. The world has come along way in 9 years. Keep up the good work!

i am about to do an interview with carol about her daughter and her fight with post-partum psychosis. we do a weekly show called "the suicide prevention show" on 1360 wlbk am and on the web at 1360wlbk.com. the show will air sunday morning at 9:30am and will also be on our podcast page. i look foward to learning more from carol and look foward to sharing the information with our listeners.

I worried horribly about my son and other family members; I was overwhelmed with the feeling that life was utterly pointless and full of endless suffering. Even as a Christian, my faith was tested and I had never felt so alone. I remember thinking that if I came out of it, that I would tell everyone about my experience and that I would fight to help other women going through this horrible illness. Fortunately, I did survive and feel so incredibly thankful to the people around me who helped. I did know that I was depressed and needed help. I told my co workers, my friends, even strangers. Usually I am reserved, but during this, I knew I had to fight and reach out to anyone who would listen. Ultimately, the things that helped me was the right medication (which turned out to be Celexa), support from family who took care of my baby and helped me get out of bed in the morning, listened to my misery, a social worker who kept telling me that I would get better (this was absolutely the best thing to hear) and that it was my illness talking, not me, and TIME. It took a long time for the medicine to work!! But eventually it did. I know that we need to do more to diagnose and treat postpartum depression and psychosis. I would like to learn more about your crusade. I am so sorry for your loss...I am so tempted to call you. I have left an email if you would like to contact me as well.
Frances....

Carol,
I am currently a public health student and physician studying postpartum depression. My interest came out of my own unexpected bout with severe (and in retrospect likely psychosis) postpartum depression just this past May/June/July. This experience can only be described as the absolutely worst and most devastating ordeal that I have experienced, even surpassing past sadness that I had over the death of loved ones. Fortunately, I was not suicidal or homicidal during the ordeal. However, I have never felt so terrified, hopeless and helpless. While I did not think of immediately taking my own life, I was convinced that I had completely lost my mind and would never return. Ultimately, I felt that my illness would kill me. (cont on next message)

I was in school at Morehouse College at the same time Melanie was at Spelman.
I just wanted to give my words of encouragement and offer to help in any way I can.
I want to thank B Maynard Scarbourogh for sending this link on his Facebook page to alert everyone to your plan.

Take Care,
Tony Lockard

IN EVERY MOMENT LIFE BRINGS SURPRISES, THE ONES THAT MAKE US LAUGH AND OF COURSE THOSE THAT EAT OUR STRONGEST WAYS TO LOVE AND BE LOVED...
NEVER ONCE WOULD I WANT TO CHANGE HOW OUR FAMILY LIVED AND SUFFERED MY WIFE'S DEPRESSION, MANY TOLD ME TO LEAVE HER AND TAKE OUR DAUGHTER FROM HER... AND CERTAINLY I KNOW THAT LOVE AND STRENGTHS WITHIN BECOME WHAT AND HOW WE FEEL WITH OUR DEEPEST OF PASSION FOR THE LOVE OF LIFE...
WHEN YOU CANT BREATHE ANYMORE YOUR LAST WORDS NEVER COME AND THE WAY YOU LOVE IS MESSED WITH NO RETURN OF WHAT YOU FEEL AND KNOW IS RIGHT, THEN HOLD ON BECAUSE THE ONE YOU WOULD DIE FOR AND LOVE HER EVERY MOMENT OF LIFE.....WAIT, THEN SHE WILL LEAVE YOU BECAUSE NOW SHE FEELS SHE IS BEST DOES NOT NEED YOU AND YOU ARE LESS THAN GOOD ENOUGH FOR HER...
YES SAD, BUT THIS KINDA TRUTH OF LIFE IS WHAT MAKES US THE STRONG MESSED PEOPLE WE ARE TODAY !!!
ALL THE BEST TO THOSE WHOM HAVE AND WILL CONTINUE TO FEEL AND LIVE SUCH UNCERTAIN FEELINGS OF LIFE, WITH A PASSION TO LIVE AND LOVE...
GOOD LUCK BE STRONG AND FEEL AN EVER LOVING KINDNESS TO BRING YOU TO YOUR BEST WITH EVERY BREATHE YOU TAKE.

XO, AND PRAYERS OF LOVE AND STRENGTH !!!

I am so sorry for your loss. I have the same condition and have been fighting for 8 yrs for a cure. Thank you for bringing this out into the light. Maybe this will help doctors to be more aware. I never had any symptoms before my child was born. That it why it is so difficult and baffling to all, especially me. Keep up the good work. May God bless you.

Hope

I need help finding the recovery stories. My wife was diagnosed with PPP last December. At that time she was pregnant with our fifth child. I had just started school at a new college to complete my bach degree. Being in a new area so recently, we have had no nearby friends and family to rely on. After months of searching for ways to try manage our new challenge, I found it best to temporarily leave school and do what I can at home. But, I feel so lost and in such a state of limbo that I am afraid of losing my own sense of sanity.
If my wife misses a dose of her medication the symptoms resurface in about three days time, and there is nothing I can do but ride out the storm each time. I'm feeling very weathered. I need some help too. I don't want a handout, just some hope that there is an end in sight somewhere to all this confusion. Thank you for your time spent reading this. I should get some sleep before my day begins all over again. Good night.

My sister-in-law was recently diagnosed with Post-Partum Psychosis. She is now in a Mental Health Clinic and the family is trying some way to help protect the baby. Her and her husband live in Portland, Oregon unfortunately, and we live in the Chicago area. Does anyone know of any resources in that area where we can find someone to aide in taking care of the baby or help the family why the father deals with his wife's diagnosis. We don't know where to turn. Thank you so much for your stories.

I'll be speaking at a Parenting Conference to Lactation Consultants who want to learn to better recognize and respond to postpartum mood and thought disorders. Bless you for your positive response to your terrible loss.

Thank you so much for talking about this serious issue that so many women and families have suffered with. ;-)

THERE IS A LADY HERE IN TEXAS (YOU MAY HAVE ALREADY HEARD ABOUT THE STORY, BUT SHE MUTALATED HER 3 1/2 WEEK OLD BABY AND ATE THE BODY PARTS. I DON'T KNOW WHY THE STORY HAS TOUCHED ME SO MUCH BUT IT DID. SHE SAID THAT THE DEVIL TOLD HER TO KILL HER BABY SHE ALSO ATTEMTED TO KILL HERSELF. I HAD HEARD OF PPD BUT NOT PPS. I CAN'T HELP BUT BE UPSET AT WHAT SHE DID BUT AFTER HEARING AND READING ABOUT PPS AT THE SAME TIME I FEEL SORRY FOR HER. I NEVER KNEW THE SERIOUSNESS OF THE PPD AND HOW IT CAN LEAD TO PPS AND HOW SEVER IT CAN GET. I SUFFERED FROM PPD. SO I JUST CAN'T IMAGINE WHAT A WOMEN GOES THROUGH WHILE SUFFERING FROM PPS TO THE EXTREME TO HARM HER OWN BABY, NOT PASSING JUDGEMENT BUT IT MUST BE HORRIBLE AND FREIGHTNING ESPECIALLY IF THEY HAVE TO LIVE WITH KNOWING WHAT THE HAD DONE WHEN ON HAS KILLED HER BABY. THAT SHOULD BE PUNISHMENT ENOUGH OF COURSE TREATMENT IS NEEDED AS WELL I AM GLAD YOU G-DAUGHTER IS ALIVE AND WELL, AND I AM SO SO SORRY YOU LOST YOUR DAUGHTER TO SOMETHING THAT COULD HAVE BEEN PREVENTED, BY THE WAY THE WOMEN I AM SPEAKING ABOUT DID ACKNOWLEDG THAT SOMETHING WAS WRONG WITH HER AND DID CHECK HERSELF IN TO A HOSPITAL, SADLY SHE CHECKED HERSELF OUT :-(

The picture of Melanie holding her baby in the hospital bed looks like my picture with my first child...it has been almost 15 years and I can still remember the panic and hopelessness like it was yesterday.

No one wanted to talk about PPD when I had my children--I felt so lost and alone. I am grateful that this issue is finally being taken seriously and there are ways for new mothers to get help.

wow, i just came across this site and it brought tears to my eyes. I went through a very tough time after my daughter. I had regular postpartum then it turned horrible. I woke up in the middle of the night not being able to see. sometimes I couldnt talk and when i did it sounded like a deaf person. I would walk to my mothers in the middle of the night and just take my baby to her, barely remembering it. I moved in with my mother. my child slept in her room while i struggled with literally beating myself up at night by slamming my head into walls and waking up with 20 plus bruises on my body and remembering doing it but not being able to stop it. i even considered i was possesed. i was on many different meds and they were constantly changing them. when i was fully awake i just cried and felt like throwing up because all i saw was tunnel vision. in the end i was very close to being hospitalized but my parents did not want me to be injected with whatever they wanted. i am grateful for that. my daughter is 4 yrs old and i still have not fully recovered nor do i think i will. sometimes i just think all those different meds made me worse.

I read your daughter's story in a TIME magazine while sitting at Starbuck's today and was deeply touched. Thank you for sharing your daughter's story with the world. I have never lost a grown adult child but have lost 5 babies through ectopic pregnancy and miscarriages. I cried when I read your story because somehow I felt a connection with your grievous heartbreak. Your pain must never go away as my pain will probably last forever too. I give up on having my own child and through that release of energy I have become quite grateful for what I do have. May you find peace with life's mishaps and find great strength through family, friendship, and contentment. G-d bless you and your family, Nicole.

Is it possible to have had PPP pretty bad but have trudged through it, hiding it, denying it, in shame. Get through the worst of it and have lingering irrational thoughts that you still wouldn't act on?? 6 years after the birth? I knew post partum depression existed but had never heard of PPP. I thought the post partum depression could just be bad, living on the edge but never venturing beyond. My upbringing is a pattern of survival.

I wasn't fortunate enough to have met Melanie in person But fortunatly I've known you Carol for years and words can't possibly express the appreciation
for your quiet compassion and special concern that you bring to people suffering from this terrible dreaded disease. "KEEP IT UP"
LOVE,
BILLY

Thank you so much for talking about this serious issue that so many women and families have suffered with.

God Bless.

Hi Alan,
Well was starting to get worried about you guys, but sounds like she has made a very fast recovery. You wrote on the 30th June that you had the worst day and now you said she is 100% better. If so you are very lucky, my recovery was a lot longer and very hard. I wish you both the very best and will check up from time to time to see how things are going. All the best.

Hello Phaedra,
I just want to start of by giving you lots of thanks and hugs. It makes me really happy to have found someone that actually listen and cared enough that has helped me in my lowest and provided me with courage and patience to be able to sustain this ordeal. I believe you too will help many people just like carol is doing now, By the way, I give lots of thanks to you, Carol, for having given all of your energy, caring and time to help others. I have been away from this forum because as of 07/04/09 my wife has made a come back and she nows feels almost at 100% better. I give lots of thanks to her doctors as well. My wife and the whole family celebrated this past weekend as if we had been given a second chance to live. Once again, many thnks for your support Phaedra. I'll be checking this forum often to provide any help for those whom have gone thru this or sadly enough will go thru this.

Morning Alan,
Did you read the posts I put up? Rainman as in with numbers?? If so, then yes I had that also. I had everyone's birthdates in my family, trying to add things up and weird things were happening, seeing if numbers recurred and connections. When I watched TV, certains commercials that I thought were for me, I wrote the phone numbers down and was constantly adding things up and trying to come to a result, obviously that didn't happen as I didn;t know what I was looking for. This is where the writig stuff down got bad, I always pen and paper with me. Where are her thoughts stemming from? Is it TV or music, or just random coming from her head, I had things that triggered it. Once I knew what they were I stopped watching TV, listening to the radio or music with words, only classical stuff and stopped reading also, as I thought everything was messages and adding stuff up. Did you talk to her about my symptoms and ask what she is feeling?? Where abouts are you guys? Hope you are getting there, it is a long road but stick by her and maybe find a mate that you can trust and let your frustrations out too, I know my husband found it hard as the attention was all on me and he needed help, guidance and support also. Keep your questions coming and I hope my responses are helping.

I am so sad to read Melanie's story. I suffered from severe PPP myself. I was hospitalized 3 separate times, was on 3 different medications and in intensive therapy for months. I have a 18 month old son now, I am well and so is he. It breaks my heart to see another mother out there that did not make it through this horrific disease. My prayers go out to her husband, child and family.

Hello Phaedra, Yesterday, I believe the worst day of my wifes symptoms.... She has been acting like Dustin Hoffman in the movie "Rainman" She knows what she is doing, making sense when talking but has not been herself, If you know what i mean. did you go thru this?

The biggest feeling for me was the psychic things and thinking that things were signs and the TV was sending me messages, I would watch the morning news, and every story I thought was tyring to tell me something that was personal. Hearing peoples thoughts, I thought that they were asking me for help, and maybe there were in their body language, but not to the extent I believed. My family, I made it my priority to fix them all. Years of torment that people had in my family I tried to fix. I actually went to a psychic lady and told her what was happening and of course she believed it, why woudln't you and she backed everything up, saying I was special and blah blah, so that didn't help. Even after my son's birth 4 years on, I still believed something special happened then, no matter how much the doctors explained the symptons, it wasn't until last week when I read other peoples personal recounts that it all finally sunk in and made more sense. The more research I did now that I am fully recovered the more I understand. Where abouts do you live?? I am in WA. Keep smilin.

I would take such pride in my appearance. My energy levels were amazing and unstoppable. I thought that I was becoming an angel, well sort of like I was sent from God to heal and help people, like I was suddenly psychic, powerful, special. When you feel like this you don't want it to end. I thought my daughterwas the same as me and very powerful. I made it my mission to help all the mothers in the facility I was in, this was before anyone knew I was sick. I know I actually did help them to some extent, they were all suffereing from PND and all first mums, being manic, I was so happy and knew loads of things about babies and would help them out, a little of me rubbed off on them. This euphoria is much nicer than what is coming, well might come. After this I experienced agitation, anger, frustration, couldn't sit still, didn't want to be near my babies, just the opposite of the manic, that's why some people actually get misdiagnosed as bipolar, for me mine were both straight after child birth and no previous mental problems at all, so that's why I am not bipolar. Ask you wife what she is feeling if she will tell you. If not, maybe ask her about the things I felt and see if she reacts to them, she might need prompting. If it very hard to convince that there is something actually wrong, to us it feels amazing, nothing short of a miracle.

Hey Alan,
No probs, anything I can do, I know how alone you must feel. Your wife is experienceing the same as I did, as to tell you the truth this part is a lot easier than what may or is coming. The euphoria is the best feeling and you don't want it to stop and when you are the one who is sick, no-one can explain it to you to make you think that you are. I will try to explain exactly what I felt, it may help you understand depending on how much your wife is telling you, I didn't tell anyone the extent as I didn't want anyone telling me it wasn't true, even after understanding it from the first time, the second bout I still believed it was real, that's how it works I guess. I would wake up and look in the mirror and think I was amazingly beautiful, I thought how lucky was I, I was so confident and when you don't normally feel like that, it feels wonderful.

Hi Phaedra, First of all, I would like to thank you for all the time you are investing to help my family out. There is no words to describe it.... My wife is still in the euphoric state, she has stated that she likes this new personatily, she no longer feels shy, scared, or say what comes to your mind. She continues to have lots of energy, and talks and talks like there is no tomorrow. Today we had all of the family over and she felt as she was the main attraction. She4 did most of the talking, try to make everybody dance after lunch (we were all tired and full)... She made all of us pray before eating (this is something that was never done before)... I like the fact that my wife is enjoying this new change but deep inside I miss my wife. I will try to check with her doctor if a new med will try to slow her energy level down or perhaps mention the one you were prescribed...

ALan, just to answer the other symptoms. The first time I had it I didn't understand what was happening to me. I was trying to piece information together to work things out thinking signs were being sent to me. I wrote things down, very fast as my mouth couldn't keep up with me. I filled many notebooks with very strange things. I spoke loads and very fast most of the time. As you wife, very up front and sometimes quite agitated and even agressive. The second time I understood a lot better what was happening and could actually control it to some extent, when it first started it was a beautiful thing and I didn't want it to stop so I hid all the syptoms I knew the doctors were looking for, very silly I know, but I had just given birth and didn't want a repeat of my son and was trying so hard to be a normal family. At night it is very hard to calm yourself and relax into sleep, I found natural remedies very effective, also soothing music, meditating is fantastic to slow you down and also when, or if negative and depressed issues begin. Before mixing natural calming things, check with your doc first. I also had many plans, these also filled my notebook. Business plans, house plans, like I mapped out my future and wrote it all down. In my head though I thought signs were being sent to me about what was coming in the future and to be prepared, and I had to write them down in case I forgot.

Hi Alan,
everyday is another step closer. A week is such a short span in this illness. It is very difficult to compare and guess how long the recovery. It depends on so much. Her syptoms I had all of those and many more. The mania side of it which I began with, heightens everything. I became the happiest most positive person you've ever met. This is me normally just not on such a huge level, so my hubby even though seen me go through it once never picked up on it as the excitement of the birth he thought was the cause of the sudden height of mood. I started thinking that TV, mobiles, songs were speaking to me and sending me messages to help people and do things that good would come of. I never have told anyone exactly what happened in my head as it is that unbeliveable to someone else. I thought my daughter was an angel from heaven sent to heal people. It just kept going, the psychotic and other behaviours occurred later, after the meds started. I was on Olanzapine, it takes a while to build up in your system, after a bit I was knocked out at night and took a long time in the morning to function. We all react so different to this.
Please pass on my best to your wife

I would like to share some of her behaviors and hope to know how far closer she is to recover compare to other woman that has suffered this illness. My wife has always been quite, shy, kept to herself but due to this illness she has made a 360 degrees turn (she's straight forward, talks a lot !!!!!, has many plans for the future, has lots of energy, her sense of humor has grown, and even thou her meds are of a high dosage, It still takes a while till she finally goes to sleep and sometimes wakes-up in the middle of the night. Did you experience any of these behaviors ????

Good morning Phaedra,
Another day towards the road of recovery. It has been exactly one week since my wifes' first episode of confusion, and bad thoughts. I got to say that this has been the hardest week of my life but everyday i keep praying that soon all of this will be over and a thing of the past.

Hi Alan,
I will do anything I can to help out. I know how hard this is and how when you are in it, it feels like there is no hope and when will it end. It is a long hard road but you will get there. Share anything you are willing to and I will check up the messages and add what I can. My thoughts are with you all.

:-) Hi Phaedra, I'm glad you responded quickly to my plead. Knowing that i can chat w/ someone that has gone thru this illness makes me feel much better and better yet, knowing that you are a survivor of it. I was wondering if I could share some of her signs and symptoms and you or anyone else in this forum who knows someone that is currently going thru this and maybe this way we could help each other day by day to make us stronger and be able to give all the support our love one deserves.

Hi Alan, I just put my story on here last night after 4 years recovering from my first bout of it and after reading so many sad stories, was hoping that my happy ending both times may help someone out there. I spoke to my psych today about what actually happened to me and I had textbook severe mania, follwed by Psychosis, then Depression. This happened pretty much exactly the same, symptoms and all, timing, with both of my children. I was on meds for about 7 months with both and fully recovered after about a year. i know it is hard to sit by and watch, well I don't but can imagine. But the husbands, partners and family and friends are the glue that holds us together. You should be very proud of yourself for realising something was up so fast, as both times mine went un noticed until it was severe. Stay strong and it does get better with time.

:-( Hello everyone... My wife and I have just been blessed with our first daughter and it's been almost one month since the arrival of our newest addition to our family. Unfortunately, I started to noticed something different about my wife. it all started this past friday night, as I returned from work, my wife stated that she has had a revelation with god and believed was given supernatural powers and felt sorry for everyone in the family because she thought they were all sad and lonely. At first, I thought her mind was confused due to the lack of sleep but the following day her symptoms worsen. I immediately started to search for answers and to have a better understanding of what was happening and that's when I came across this site. I thank you,Carol, for sharing your experience and helping others on how to deal with this devasting illness. My wife has been currently prescribed anti-psychotic drugs and has had her first psychiatric visit this past monday. I pray to god that this illness will eventually go away and give my wife the opportunity to see our daughter grow-up. I sometimes feel strong but other times I feel like I have lost my wife, if anyone in this forum could share their experiences on how to make it easier on my family, I would extremely appreciated.

Sorry for the order of it all, it goes
twenty five-twenty eight-twenty six-twenty seven.
I know it was long winded but I hope that it may help at least one person who googles this illness and might read this one day

The second time around, we were determined to make this experience wonderful and no repeats. Had a VBAC, natural delivery no drugs and beautiful daughter. Straight after the birth I was put into a mother and baby unit ( a place where you go with the bubs for help, amazing facility - wish it was around the first time) just a precaution from last time. Everything was great, and baby was wonderful, then strange things atarted happening the TV talking to me, mobile phones talking, hearing voices, messages and signs everywhere, all telling me, about wonderful things that were coming and to prepare for them, and how I needed to help all these people and that I was an angel sent to help them somehow. I never told anyone about them, as I figured how could anything be wrong it all felt so magical.

So finally, to the family and friends watching first hand, we can't explain it what is happening to us, only try to, you are the most important people at this time, more important that doctors, you are the ones that will know something isn't right, do everything you must to get us the help we need, an the women who have been or going through this scary phase in your life, there is amazing light at the end of the tunnel, just hang in there, know you are not alone, someone out there understands, even how ridiculous what you want to say sounds out loud, and for yourself, children and family get the help that you deserve, fight for it if you have to. You can heal your life - Louise L Hay

Love and Light to you all

I thought nothing of it, just thought weird things were happening to me, but they were wonderful how could anything be wrong. 10 days later, still in the unit, everything collapsed another attack where I believed my husband had been killed in a car accident, and believe me, when you experience these, they are more real than you can describe. I was pretty much released from the unit as I was going so well, the attack happened at home and was straight back in there on meds and the rest is history.

Hi Carol, and anyone else who is reading this. Firstly, I am so terribly sorry for your loss of a beautiful child, I can't imagine the pain it would cause a parent, until you become one yourself. What you are doing is what I hope to do in the near future.
I am 24 years old and have suffered PPP twice now. The first time at the age of 20 after my son was delivered under general anaesthetic by caeser 10 weeks early, the signs were missed as our son was in ICU and the attention was on him surviving. Once I was caught I had gone through a major pschotic attack, drugged and woke up in a mental hospital 2 weeks after giving birth and no where near recovered from sugery, surrounded by very sick and violent women, in maximum lock up, I can't begin to descrive what it was like, I was young, not in my home town as we are rural and the circumstances flew us to Perth. I was there for a couple of weeks and lied about my symptoms to get out.

My message is simple: Husbands, your wives can't control this. They can't "Snap Out Of It". It's not their fault. IT IS AN ILLNESS. I write this morning as my wife is struggling with PPD for the second time with our second child. Guys, you need to wrap your brain around what I said, even if you don't understand how she feels. Just know that PPD/PPP hits like a train. You need to fight for your wife and your family. Love and good luck.

:mad: I think this bill should of been signed long time ago. I have four children I never experienced any depression, but have seen many go through it. I am sorry for anyone who had to deal with the depression especially alone. Like it was said being a Mother has been by the far the hardest job ever, and a lot of stress. So many needed to be educated.

I am a survivor of PPP and want all that might read this know that if you have a family member that is suffering to take them to the local ER admit them. This does not go away and you will need medication, therapy and prayers. It does however go away with treatment and the best is yet to come. You do not have to suffer forever. I survived my baby girl survived and I am healed. You will get better you need help to get there. Do not wait get your wife, daughter, sister or friend the help that she needs. She is not able to make the choice. She is no longer capable if she has delusions, mood disorder, or currently on medication that is not helping. Watch her!!! It is better to get help than be left with the memory. Please this is my prayer. Love Mercy!

My sister is currently going through postpartum psychosis. It's been so terrible to see what she has to go through. She is seeing people in her house, hearing conversations that are not happening, and believe things that are not rational. Thank you for your page, it just confirms that she is not crazy and we definately need to push for more help from her doctors. They keep refusing to admit her. She's been in the hospital twice in one week and she doesn't remember anything. Keep the message out there.

Great resource and story of the need for further understanding. Condolences- even if years late.

My sister was never the same after delivering her third child who were twins.she entered into a state of phycosis, where she wanted to die, and was unable to feed herself, shower, or anything. the doctors Put her on medications, even for sleeping.Today she is worst of than the beginning. It's been 5 years and up to today the sickness has changed forms. Now she hits her head on the wall, and bites her tongue, its hurts us so much to see this and my mom have to care for her.

thank you for being an advocate for women with ppd. we need someone out there to defend us and bring understanding to this illness.

I will support Melanie Blocker Stokes Mothers Act in any way that I can and ask my nursing school organization and state nursing organization to support any legislation that benefit helping women with PPD.

I'm 22 years old and I just had twin boys. I read about this in a parenting magazine. I'm spreading the word around.

Hello,

Your site is very helpful. My aunt just had a baby about 2 weeks ago and the baby was ill so she was stressed about that. She also lost her job before she found out she was pregnant in January. This is her first baby and she is 39. She was really nervous and scared and worried. Two days ago she sat her house on fire with her and the baby in it. They made it out and the baby is doing great thank God, but now she is on life support in the hospital, but is being charged with felony child neglect. She has been to the doctor more than once no one noticed. My family needs help to help her. The doctors beleive that she is suffering from postpartum psychosis. She has never done anything bad in her life. If you have any advice on what her husband can do to protect her please let me know. If anyone has any information on how we can help her please let me know.

Thanks,

Christy

Thank you for what you are doing!!! I think it is awesome you have become an advocate for other women with postpartum disorders to make sure nothing happens to them. It means so much to me because I have recently begun sharing my postpartum challenges to help save other women, too. I never went back to getting a full night sleep after I had my baby. I had a gut feeling something wasn't quite right-I wish I hadn't been in such a fog that I would have followed my gut! When my baby was 4 1/2 months old, I totally stopped sleeping. Unfortunately and very sadly, my family didn't believe it was possible for anyone to go a night without sleep. They chose to remain ignorant and not listen to what I was telling them. I went 9 days without any sleep.I was too tired and exhausted to take matters into my own hands. All because of the insomnia which was caused by a combination of p.p.d., a hormonal imbalance and/or thyroid problem. So now my goal is to make pregnant women aware of the fact that postpartum complications ARE indeed very common. I never knew women could have any of those problems after having a baby. My doctor never told me about any of it. Your daughter was very lucky to have you in her life you did everything you could to help her! Take a look at my blog and become a follower if you'd like! I'd love to talk with you.

I am so sorry for your loss. It makes me so angry that we must lose loved ones before eyes are opened. My mother pulled me from the edge of my psychosis. I understand why Andrea Yates did what she did. I say it loud. You can imagine the looks I get. Great Britain uses a wonderful postpartum questionare for new mothers. Its time for OB/Gyn and primary care physicians AND insurance companies to stop pushing women out of the hospital the day after having a child. Postpartum care should involve much more that checking stitches and cashing copay checks. I was told I had the baby blues over the phone by my OB. That could have been me on CNN instead of Yates. I wish the best for you, and I commend you and your courage to see through your own pain and give a voice to those who are afraid to speak. God Bless you and your family

Hi Carol,

I’m glad I had the opportunity to week you last week. (Burlington coat factory). I am sorry to know that your daughter Melanie didn’t get the proper help she needed, maybe it wasn’t available during the time. But in the end result what a fantastic job you’re doing. In the name of Melanie you are educating and raising awareness to other Moms and mother’s to be who suffers with PPD/PPS.
You are a wonderful lady, with a great big heart. It is a pleasure to have met you.
What a great inspiration you are. God bless you and God keep you.

Thank you for sharing,

P.S. my son feels that you are an angel sent from heaven.
;-)

Carol you are the greatest just relentless

Billy

Carol,

I can not thank you enough for all that you have done concerning Debra....you are a god send and I am confident that your own daughter is smiling down at you from heaven. What a wonderful person you truely are.....

I am so very sorry for the loss of Melanie. Although I have had 4 children, thankfully I have never suffered from PPD or PPP, and I am so sorry for the women who have to endure this feeling, disorder, disease.

I wish your family love, health and luck.

I am sorry to her about this. This postpartum psychosis is new to me. I have never heard of this before and I am glad to here about it now and I am able to educate myself before my baby is born.This is great info.

I'm not sure if I have postpartum pschosis or depression. Doctors are not sure. I've been to therapy and am taking antidepressants and progesterone cream and a plethera of vitamin supplements. I feel so desperate for relief. It's so relentless. Thank you for this website. I feel this is such a misunderstood disease and the only way to fight it, is through education. Thank you for giving me a tiny slice of hope.

I am battling this disease myself. I found this website comforting to know I am not alone. Thank you!

Thank you for doing this important work. I am sorry that such a devestation had to inspire this website.

I have written to my rep and senators in support of Melanie's Act and I am also spreading the word to friends and family.

Thank you so much Carol for transforming this incredible tragedy into a way to help so many woman who suffer PPD/PPS. The work you are doing is so very important.

:confused:I am very sorry to read about Melanie's story. I am currently being treated for PPD/Anxiety. I work in the medical field and got sick (sinus infection) and was horrified by the lack of support and compassion my Dr.'s office showed me. They told me that once I started to get some sleep and decide to "get over this whole PPD thing I would feel better." I asked them if they could get me a referal quickly to a new Psychiatrist and they told me, "No."I want to speak out and up for other mothers like myself who are getting blown off by the medical community. We need to be heard and treated with respect and dignity, not like we are crazy.

Melanie was a classmate of mine at Spelman...and I will always remember her smile. Her story is sad, but I pray it will be a great help to many others. Blessings to her mom for getting past her own pain every day to raise awareness for so many!

We miss you, Mel!

Spelman College, Class of "82

She is missed. Classmate, Spelman Class of 1982

In loving support a member of the Spelman College class of 1982

Hi everyone,
Just wanted to give my update. I suffered from Post Partum Phycosis over 2 years ago now. I was hospitalized for 6 weeks and received 8 or 9 ect treatments. My baby boy turned 4 on March 7th,2009. After my ECT treatments I was able to stay with my Mother while I still got better. At the time I was on medication for my condition but was able to come off the medication within a few months. Since this situation has happened , it has changed my life for the better and I never take a day for granted. I think from my experience, I thought I would never be normal again. I just wanted to let everyone know that you should never feel ashamed of yourself, these situations are out of our control. I believe for myself I have recovered 100%, work full time, play volleyball,have my own house, bascially just living a normal happy life. I never even heard of Post Partum Physocis until it happened to me. It is a crazy situation and can happen to anyone, just remember there is hope and still a chance to a normal life.

PATIENT DUMPING NOT OK
Patient Dumping
Emergency Medical Treatment and Active Labor Act
Greetings:
A related topic is that emergency rooms and hospitals may incorrectly deal with people who come who are depressed, agitated and history of mental illness; and or in active labor.
There is a history of "patient dumping", in which the facility refuses to admit, or does not correctly provide psychiatric or protective services.
the Office of Inspector General can take a complaint.
The Homepage above is a link to a list of cases.
Example:
The OIG alleged that TRH failed to provide proper screening and stabilization to a patient who presented to its emergency department in a combative state and on narcotics. The patient had a psychiatric history
... The ED physician did not request a psychiatric consultation with the on-call psychiatrist. Instead, the patient was discharged with a final diagnosis of drug intake. Approximately an hour later, the patient arrived at another hospital accompanied by the police. The patient was admitted and diagnosed with having a bipolar disorder.

Hello,

I am a college student and I have decided to present the HR20 bill to my class in an effort to persuade my classmates to become aware and take action to help this bill gain the attention it deserves. I am a mother and believe I previously suffered from PPD. Everyone around me told me I was depressed and withdrawn. As I think on that time, I now realize I was. It would have been extremely helpful if I had educational information and/or treatment. Hopefully this bill will help women who have PPD, so they can avoid further suffering.

Thank you,
Andrea G

This was a horrible tragedy and my heart goes out to her family. I can't imagine how awful this was for her and for them.

Something is so very wrong here, this woman was under the "care" of a "doctor" and in a "hospital" and THIS is what happened to her? We REALLY need to take another look at the whole field of "mental health," a good straight look at it. It's NOT working and it looks like that was what drove this woman to kill herself. I think it's all wrong to start with, we need to throw out the whole field of psychiatry and start over. :(

Hi.

Just browsing for some good books on PPP & found your site. My sympathies to you & your family; a devastating loss. I am "a PPP survivor" - 9 months on. A very quick & dramatic slide into delusion with a thankfully quick recovery; still on some drugs & wanting to find out more about PPP - at my own pace - thanks to your courage for establishing this site.

With respect, M

I just found your web page. I suffered PND and am really scared of another baby and getting PND again. i'm so sad for Melanie, and the family she left behind. I hope that together we manage to raise awareness and that Carol and her granddaughter can gain strength from that.

LINK TO REP RUSH'S WEBSITE
My home page above is actually a link to the Legislation page for Congressman Bobby L. Rush.
The first item on his legislative agenda is: Melanie Stokes Postpartum Depression Research and Care Act will establish and fund research and outreach assistance for victims of postpartum depression and psychosis.

(link to article under the house on left, search Amber Hill)
Court psychiatrist says Amber Hill didn't understand killing kids was wrong 8:52 p.m. ET CLEVELAND
Amber Hill suffered with bouts of depression, hallucinations and suicidal thoughts for four years before she drowned her two daughters in a bathtub in her Cleveland apartment.

There seems to be a limit on how long a post may be. sorry.
Amber Hill murder trial begins in drownings of 2 children
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Leila Atassi
Plain Dealer Reporter
.. The day of the drowning - Hill was scheduled to meet with a psychiatrist ...
... psychiatrists will testify that Hill has a history of postpartum depression and that her mental state had been deteriorating for months. She had distanced herself from family and friends...
... She submerged her two young daughters in a bathtub until they stopped struggling for air. Until she believed that her girls were "finally at peace."
... has a history of postpartum depression and that her mental state had been deteriorating for months. She had distanced herself from family and friends, stopped attending classes at Remington College and attempted suicide on more than one occasion, Mack said.
... And all the while, Hill remained in a daze, disassociated from the commotion around her, the paramedics testified. ...
The trial continues today.
To reach this Plain Dealer reporter: latassi at plaind.com, 216-999-4549

Dear Carol and others;
I am hoping that you can help us.
I am so sad that you have lost your daughter. I have virtually lost mine to this illness, yet she still lives, and with the delusions, I am also unable to see my grandchildren.
My daughter has been suffering from this psychiatric disorder, and related ones, since fifth grade. She has developed delusions, full blown after the loss of an 8 months gestation baby 2 years ago. These delusions include fear / anxiety, and are now also attributed to me.
She has a history of refusing to talk with various people, not just me, including her younger brother, her in laws, and almost everyone.
Despite her not talking with me, nor seeing me, she has even gone to obtain an order of protection. No one in the local courts in Chicago will listen to me about what is the real problem. They don't care about her medical history, etc., etc.
Her old therapist, learning that she has refused to see me, and makes these false accusations, stated, "someone must get her the treatment she needs". But no one will.
Can anyone help?
I keep thinking I will wake up and it won't be a nightmere, but it still is.
Elisheva in Cleveland

Thank you for sharing this information. Your daughter was perfectly beautiful and I know that you miss her every moment of everyday. God bless you and continue your work on getting this information into every household. Take care.

hello,Iam a woman who has had this disease also and I want everyone to know my story.I thankyou for what you are doing it can save someone but there is still not enough happening to help women.I know because of what I went through. :-)

Carol, as a survivor of PPP I can relate to Melanie's battle. We are so thankful for you getting the word out on this painful yet treatable condition

Hello Carol,
Happy New Year to you and to all, especially supporters of those who have suffered from this illness. My daughter just spent her forth (4) Christmas in the county jail without a trial. We are scheduled to begin our trial on Feb. 2, and finally, we have a real attorney. I want to thank you again for your support, courage and tenacity in getting the word out about PPP and I want you to know that I will continue to struggle along with you, to bring this issue to the forefront, so that it can be understood. No one should ever have to suffer the lose of a daughter, granddaughter, sister, aunt or any loved one to a preventable, temporary mental illness. PPP can be prevented through knowledge and the exceptance of it's existance.
Thank You Carol,
Gina

I am twice a survivor of PPP. I had delayed PPP after the birth of both of my sons. More research, and getting the word out is SO important to rid the stigma associated with PP Disorders. Stay strong, ladies. Help is out there!

Dear Carol,
I just read about your daughter and I am so, so sorry. I struggled with depression after giving birth but by the grace of God bounced back. Reading about your daughter reminded me of how alone I felt. I was very depressed for about four months but then things came around for me. Your daughter was so beautiful. I hope that you are well and that your pain is eased by the work that you do. Be blessed.
Nikki Parker-Morgan

I have found myself unexpectedly pregnant 10 years after the birth of my son. I suffered from severe PPP for more than a year and tried to commit suicide. We have adopted 2 beautiful children to prevent the chances of recurrance. I am terrified. I have so much more to lose now than I ever have. I have serious reservations about continuing with the pregnancy. Both the psychiatrist and the gynecologist say that with the severity of the PPP last time, they cosider this pregnancy life threatening. What to do?

I wanted to list some information that might be useful for women living in New Jersey. Because of the efforts of Acting Governor Codey in 2005 - legislation was passed requiring all women who are receiving health services to deliver a baby are supposed to also receive education and screening about postpartum depression. In New Jersey,all the hospitals that have a maternity unit are providing screening for new moms before they go home. Also , in private doctors offices they are receiving booklets and hopefully, more verbal information. If you live in New Jersey there is a 24 hour hotline - 1-800-328-3838 for questions about PPD and referrals. There is also some limited funding to pay for treatment. If you think you may be experiencing postpartum depression - do not hesitate to speak to someone - a relative, a doctor, a friend. You dont have to go through this alone and it can be helped. Good luck!

I am a mom of three, suffering from PPD again. I am having symptoms of PPP again, and I'm so grateful for those who work to help others understand PPP better. Thank you.

PPD and PPP are disorders for which there is no equal. I see women with it and recognize them on sight. Keep up your work.

I am a 32 year old woman. I am pregnant w/ my second child and am in fear of having postpartum psychosis again. 12 yrs ago I signed myself into an instatution after losing all reality almost 2 wks to the day after giving birth. Back then there was no info about this. Thank you for your story. Hope I can write back after my baby is born around end of march and let you all know. Thank you carol and God bless. Andrea

I suffered terrible terrible PPP my last child. And now i am afraid to have more children. :-(

Dear Carol:
I just wanted you to know that Melanie's story inspired me to write a term paper for my Psychology class. Thank you very much for turning your grief into something positive that will definitely help others.

Dear Carol and family, What a beautiful gift you have given others stemming from this terrible loss of yours. Melanie's story was so sad. It is great that you are educating others in the hopes of helping them. I will pray for your entire family and it is my hope that you continue to stay close to your daughter's husband and that your beautiful granddaughter brings you comfort and joy always. :-)

I am in college and doing a presentation on postpartum psychosis. I am so sorry to hear about your loss and wish you family well. It is nice to share this story with others so they can see the signs and be aware in case others faily memebers suffer from this. And TSK TSK on the doctors for not relizing this sooner

As a social worker working with patients with postpartum depression I salute your efforts to bring this problem to the attention of legislators and to the public at large. In the few years I have been working with PPD, I am amazed at how much more aware people are about recognizing and also getting treatment for PPD. May your efforts continue to grow and bring results.

I am so sorry about the loss you have suffered. PPD and PPP are certainly a big issue that often goes unrecognized, and often devalued.
Thank you for your crusade, I am behind you 100%

Just doing a capstone project on PPd and early intervention, therapeutic tx willp promote positive outcomes and increased pt satisfaction. Any comments Ill take with pleasure.

thankyou

Hi carol, i am a senior this year and i am doing a health project on ppd, the information you shared on this website helped me to educate my classmates and myself on this disorder, when i first started this project i didnt know what to expect, it is a very heart breaking disorder and I love what you are doing to bring awareness to people.
Thank you for what you are doing.

Thank you. I myself suffered from server postpartum and tried to end my life but God intervined and I am better now with a healthy 21 month old. I am stronger because what has happened but am anger at the lack of education out there. THe hospital I was at did not have ONE piece of information on PPD or PPS.

Carol-

As a survivor of PPD, I am so saddened to see that your daughter became a victim of this terrible disorder. I commend you for your action toward educating people and helping those who suffer. I would love to know how to help more. Please accept my love and condolences.

I am a suvivor of PPD and am grateful to my family for staying by me in the most difficult time of my life. I did things totally out of character for me and humiliated myself and family. We live in an area not well educated or prepared to treat PPD and so recovery was slow and damage was great. I have fully recovered and my relationship with my husband and two little girls is stonger than I could have imagined before. Thank you for this site and your efforts to educate. I also hope to save someone and their family from the trauma of PPD some day. Thank you for sharing your story with me.

I commend you in your effort to make people aware of post-partum depression. While I am not a mother, I have been witnessed to other areas of depression with my mother. I also experienced depression over the years.

I cannot wait for the non-fiction piece you are working on with a young lady I met in the mid-90s. Temple Hemphill was an intern at the weekly paper where I was a staff writer at the time. She is a very intelligent young woman and I just recently re-connected with her through Facebook.

Carol -

I just read the story of your daughter and want to know how your son-in-law and granddaughter are doing.
I gave birth to twin boys in July 2004 and almost immediately fell into PPD. I was put on medication (by my ob/gyn) and then was referred to therapy services. I just never felt right, though. I was afraid of my boys and couldn't stand to be left alone with them. No one really understood what I was going through and thought that I was just overwhelmed with being the primary caregiver to twins. One day I woke up (Nov. 1st, 2004) and realized that I was completely alone and that my boys, husband, family, and friends would be in better care without me alive. It was like a light switch going on. I realized that I could never be the mother I wanted and that I could never be the mother my children needed, my husband needed, everyone needed. The choice to end my life was my choice and no one else's. No one could have changed my mind at that time - no one!
I commend you on your work, your drive, and your love for your daughter.

You will be happy to know that in 2006, NJ passed a law that every woman who gives birth in this state, must receive a PPD screening before leaving the hospital and must be given a PPD information package.

Stay strong!

Good luck to you and the work you're doing! Education is the key! Linking your daughters beautiful face to this illness helps to affirm that this is a very REAL illness. Thank you for sharing your story and continuing to work for and with other women with these issues!

:-( I love my children. I just don't hav anyone. I'v been alone for a yar with no visit from any friends. I feel unloved,,,

Thank you so much for talking to me while I was so stressed out over my health.I send you my deepest heartfelt condolences about Melanie.May she rest in peace and may she be a guardian angel to you and the rest of your family.I hope we can talk again.Carol you are a warm, compassionate, understanding and loving person. You're in my prayers honey.Love, Jill.

I am truly sorry for your lost. In researching for a class I came across the HR 20 bill for Melanie and this was something I had never heard of. I have done my assingment on this terrible illness. I will be advising all of my friends and loved ones of this disorder and will be praying that this bill gets passed as everyone should be educated about this illness. In my thoughts and prayers, Andrea

Carol:

I am so sorry for your loss. As a future counselor, whose goal is to work with women during their reproductive years, this is crucial issue. I hope to help women learn about the disorders before birth and to help them afterwards. Please know there are many of us out there who want to make a difference!

God bless you and your family.

I am a graduate student at Ohio State University. As part of a class, several classmates and I are doing a presentation to our class about the current bill pending in the Senate that would provide funding for PPD education and awareness. I'm so sorry for your loss. It is our belief that no one should have to die because of lack of care and awareness of this disease. Much peace to you, Allison

i'm going through this too right now and it's so hard cuz i have no support. people may try to help but they don't understand. i'm on anti depressants and i'm trying and it's better now, my youngest child is 10 mths and the other is 23 mths but it's not gone away. i keep feeling like i will hurt them and i have no bond with them and i feel guilty all the time, like i'm a bad mother. i'm being positive, i know i will get better one day. i just didn't expect this. i lost my first child, miscarriage, and looked forward to babies my whole life because i had so many gyn problems. and it's not the way i saw this all happening. i'm so sorry for you loss. this website is great though because people need to be educated about this.

Thank you for sharing Melanie's story. I too have suffered from PPD and wish all women had such great drs like I did.

Thank you. I myself suffered from server postpartum and tried to end my life but God intervined and I am better now with a healthy 21 month old. I am stronger because what has happened but am anger at the lack of education out there. THe hospital I was at did not have ONE piece of information on PPD or PPS.

Thank you

Wishing you all the best in getting legislation passed.

I suffered from ppp after the birth of twins.A lack of knowledge about the illness among the medical professionals meant that i struggled alone and lost faith in modern medicine.

Post Partum Psychosis is real. I suffered from it 8 years ago. I was away from my family and asked for help. Since no one came to me, I walked the whole night with my 12 pound baby strapped to my body. I took her life on the expressway. Since then, my sister suffered from the same thing. This time, family intervened and saved the life of her and her son. I am forever affected about what happened 8 years ago. Thank God for Carol Blocker and what she is doing. I only have God to thank for my life. I ask him to heal me from the pain of losing my daughter.

Dear Carol,
Thank you so much for your courageous efforts of raising awareness of PPP. You truly honor your beautiful daughter and all those who struggle with PPP. God bless you in all your endeavors.
Brighid Kitchen

Thank God for the wonderfully caring woman we have in Carol Blocker. I pray that Sommer Sky (Melanie's Daughter) can grow up knowing there will be a specialized medical field to turn to when needing specific medical attention in the area of the Baby Blues Syndrome: The "baby blues"; postpartum depression, PPD and especially for the far outlooked third area of great concern: Postpartum psychotic depression.

Thanks Carol for all that you talk up and do on behalf of the "Prevention Cause".

Always A Mother's Friend,
D. A. GRAY (Darlene)

Thanks for the time and effort put forth for this cause. I suffered from p.p.d with all 4 of my children. I am currently doing a speech for a class that I am in on the Bill.

i want to tell my story and the way it can help others without knowing for sure the combo ppd + bipolar weird no contact me and will tell my story. The other side of ppd, men under pressure

THANKS FOR WRITIING THIS PAGES AND GOING TO VERY DIFFICULT TIMES AND I THOUGHT MY SYMTOMPS WERE CAUSE BY MY FINANCIAL SITUATION BUT I REALIZE THAT I HAS SOMETHING TO DO WITH IT BUT THERE IS MORE TO IT. THANK YOU

I am currently seeking the information on PPD and PPP. My 20 yr old cousin had her first child 3 months ago and this week just up and went off the "deep end" she has never been envolved in drugs or crime and now she's in jail for a mess of things. the child is the furthest thing from her cares and all this suddenly hit. So thank you for putting your efforts and information out there so that those of us searching for answers may be able to help our loved ones before it's too late. :confused:

Diagnosed as schizoaffective bipolar before becoming a mother, I was unaware of the connection between bipolar disorder and post partum psychosis until just recently. I did develop PPP after childbirth and hope to be speaking about my personal experiences to members of a bipolar support group in the Boston area in the not so distant future. Both my daughter and I survived my PPP, so I would like to share my story in hopes of educating new mothers and fathers too on some of the ways that PPP can manifest itself in an ordinary bipolar mother's life. Also, as an adoptee, I've struggled with adoption issues. So, I just want to say to the mother from UT who gave up her child for adoption as she struggled with PPD, please make yourself available to your child. I am willing to bet that he or she will want to talk with you someday about why you chose to relinquish him or her.... When I found her, my birthmother told me she looked up at the moon, and "something told her to give up her firstborn." A case of undiagnosed PPP for sure.

Thank you to everyone working on helping raise awareness about PPP.

My daughter had a baby may 2 2008, when she got home I noticed that, this wasn't my daughter. Her voice, laugh and even walk was different. I alerted the health care officials. They put her in the phyic ward. She has been there for 4 days now. They are giving her anti anxiety drugs. The more I learn the more frighten I am. I think she should be on the anti phycosis drugs? This is very frustrating posistion to be in. I read your story OMG! I will demand the right treatment for my daughter to keep her safe. Thankyou

Dear Carol, beggining Sept 2008 i will be studying to be a midwife and reading through your tragic story and awful loss of your daughter's life will be fore most in my future in the care of the ladies and families that i will be there for before , during and after birth. I will make sure all my collegues are also aware of this as you say ignorance is not a good enough excuse we need to understand why. Thank you for sharing your experiences,
Julie Johnson

Hello Carol,
When I gave birth to my first son in 1997, I cried non-stop. My mother (a nurse) told me to stop crying so that I would not have postpartum depression. When I had my 3rd child in April 2001, I held him tight as the events of your daughter's last moments were displayed on the news. I had an AHA moment...I was going through postpartum depression! Your daughter's story helped me to understand and get through a difficult time. I didn't know her but she has touched me deeply. Thank you for continuing this necessary teaching.

Thank you for putting a face and story with this illness. I was too terrified to tell anyone what I was thinking, and my husband responded by spending more and more time away... thank God now people can see this is not just "mood swings" but a real illness! Now I no longer keep silent, and I refer Sisters to your site to see they are not alone. God bless,
Salina

Dear Carol,
My sister Jennie is currently going through a battle with postpartum psychosis. It is such a scary and out of control illness. I appreciate your website with your daughter Melanie's story and all the information you have provided about the illness. I am so sorry for your loss. You are doing a wonderful thing with this website in honor of Melanie. You are helping countless people like me who need information and resources to help our loved ones. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for that. I admire your strength in turning such a heartbreaking tragedy into an important source of help for others. GOD BLESS YOU!

Carol,
My heart aches for you and your family. As I read Melanies story, I remember how horrible PPD/Psycosis was for me like those who have suffered the same. If it had not been for the care of my mother, I dont think I would have made it, I had no support from my husband and he really just was not interested. I feel that the only way for women to beat this is knowledgte!! It took me a very long time to get well and will never forget how terrible it was. I have always told my mom that some day I will write a book about this and would love to help create awareness about PPD.
To women everywhere going through this....YOU WILL MAKE IT, DONT GIVE UP!!!

My heart is breaking for you and your family. I went through a horrible round of PPD bordering on PPP after the birth of both my children. After my second child was born I was in the darkest place of my life. No one was willing to help me. Begging, crying and pleading got me no where for months. How I managed to hang on as long as I did to find the one person who finally listened I will never know. I now moderate a message board for PPD sufferers and survivors and I happened across this while looking for information. Thank you for everything you do to raise awareness.

Dear Carol,
Thank you so much for raising awareness about post partum psychosis.
I have a family member going through the pangs,we are trying to grapple with the odds and unanswered questions.

I am dealing with postpartum depression. Thank you for raising the awarness. Its hard to deal with and knowing people are trying to understand and help us means alot. :-)

I had a family member that suffered from post partem phychosis about a year ago, and is currently doing well. I as a witness to what happened am still silently suffering from the things i seen and what i know can happen to a person, not to mention the neglect from the hospital. I want to thank you for this site, i still cry everytime i read it... thanks so much.

Dear Carol,

I think of you, Sommer, and Melanie often. Melanie's birthday is this week, and I am sure that it's a tough week for you. Please know you do not remember your beautiful daughter alone.

Please know how grateful so many of us are for what you do to build Melanie's legacy. You are saving lives every day as you work for your daughter...and you help those of us who have survived this terrible disease to hold our heads a bit higher and realize the things we said and did were not us. Thank you.

Happy birthday, Melanie!!!

Sommer, so many Mommies out here are thinking of you as you grow up. Your Mommy is a wonderful beautiful woman! You must miss her very much.

Love,
Suzanne

I am also a survivor of post partum psychosis and I am amazed I am still here today. Mine hit a few days after my daughter who is now 8 monthes old was born. I went from crying hysterically to not eating and not sleeping at all. I wanted so bad to die but I never took it to that level. My doctors would not take me seriously and gave me nothing but bad advice. I was fianlly admitted to a psychiatric facility about a week after she was born. I was put on a battery of meds and after about 4 monthes I was fianlly healing. If it was not for my family I know I would not be here now. I have been taken off of all of the meds now and I am scared but with the support I have I know I can make it. This is the scariest time in a womens life if she has to endure this horrible disease and I hope something can be done to help these women.

I suffered from this condition after having my baby last year. It was a very frightening experience but with the help and support of my husband and prompt diagnosis I feel I am getting back to normal. Remember you are not alone, if you can't talk to your family see a doctor.

I am currently on meds for postpartum depression and I would like to say thank you for this website.

thank you, carol. your daughter's story is very moving and relevant, and i am so glad you are telling it. she was a beautiful woman. her story is going to help so many. mental illness runs in my family, and it is so difficult to explain to others. please keep talking and educating others. these are such important issues. we all need to bring this to the forefront. melanie's memory will live on through others who survive mental illness because you are telling her story. thank you for everything you are doing.

I currently suffering from post partum psychosis and want to thank you for raising awareness.

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I suffered from Post PArtum Psychosis and almost didnt make it. It is a terrible and confusing illness.

For me it was my baby and 4 year old daughter who kept me from suicide. I did seek help and went to therapy and took lots of meds. I have no idea how I made it. I dont think anyone knew how sick I really was. I was a danger to myself, but no one seemed to realize that. I should have beed commited. God bless melanie and her family and all the victims of this illness. I guess I am proof you can make it even if it is by the skin of your teeth. Anyone can email me if they need to talk. I am happy to help.

merrygirl38 at hotmail.com

i was doing a research paper and came across this site. Thanks it helped out alot. The site is great for getting awareness about PNP.

Thanks Carol for sharing your daughter's story with us. I suffered from postpartum psychosis with my first child. It was in 2000 when I had my first child it all happened really fast alot of changes all at once. I started feeling sad, depressed, I didn't want anyone to hold my son. Then I started getting thoughts of hurt my son. I call my OB and she wanted me to call a psychiatrist and I didnt because I was scared I would loss my son. I knew having this thought was wrong and that i needed help,so every time I got this thoughts I would make sure my son was safe in his crib and I would go pray and ask GOD for help. After a while it stopped .In 2006 I had my second child I was really scared it would happen again, but this time I spoke to my husband,my family, my OB before I had my daughter.I had alot of help from my husband and family. I got thoughts of hurting my daughter maybe once or twice.
I thank GOD that everything turned out good. I'm now a nurse, everything is good, I have more knowledge of postpartum psychosis, and still I'm learning about it. I'm also talking more and more about postpartum psychosis with my family, friends, co-workers.
Thanks again for sharing you daughters story

I am deeply sadden to hear what had happened to Melanie. I too am suffering from post partum psychosis for over 5 years now. I am still battling and struggling with this disease every day. I chose not to tell anyone, again, because 2 years ago I had told my OB my concerns regarding my thoughts and I ended up being locked up for 3 days under 5150. The system also threatened me and my husband that they would take my kids away. So I had to pretend and put up a front as if I was ok and that I did not suffer anymore.

I truly hope this will bring more awareness to the doctors and the hospitals. Bless you for all your hard work. Thank you

Hi,
It was very sad to read about it. I am doing a lot of research on post-partum blue in girls. I have seen this symtoms in lots of girls in and around me. Even, when their kids are couple of years old. In our neighbour hood, everybody has released the importance of helping each other before and after delivery of the baby. I wanted to make a NPO regarding this problem and it is "Childern Society and You". I would like you to meet some people in my neighbourhood how they are helping each during this time. If you are in Bay Area, I would like to have small get-together with all the people around to show you, how we can fix this problem.

Bye
Kavita
510-676-3840

I currently suffering from post partum psychosis and want to thank you for raising awareness

I am so sorry for the loss that you and your family have endured, & also sorry for the loss that many will have to come with the absence of your daughter. She is lovely. Thank you for sharing your story and continuing to educate the world on this issue that so many have suffered silently with. God bless you.

Thank you for more insight on postpartum psychosis. I’m a nursing major and am currently working on a presentation for my psychology class. This web site and Melanie’s story will help bring clarity to everyone who will view my presentation. Thank you again, and I pray that God continue to strengthen you and bless your efforts to spread awareness.

thank you for sharing your story

as a survivor of PND i am also determined to raise awareness, and am writing a book which is a compilation of stories from women who have been effected by it

i was wondering if it would be okay to include Melanie's story?

i look forward to hearing from you x

I am so sorry for the terrible loss you and her husband have suffered. Your message about this condition is clearly spreading and something we all need to hear.

I'm so pleased to see such actice work done by Melanie's mum Carol. Well doen - it truely is fantastic work. I am a psychiatric nurse working in the UK. We have special units here which have mother and babies together.So, the mother can receive appropraite treatment and support;whilst encouraging the mother baby bond.The babies are never put at risk, and we have high levels of staffing to ensure this - perhaps this could be a way forward for the US system.

I am in nursing school and I am currently working on a project on postpartum psychosis. I am trying to gather information. My goal in this project is to inform, assess the risk factors, and nursing interventions to help reduce this tragic incidence of happening. Thank you for the information provided.

I would wish that the help was there now, not tomorrow. Just a short time ago another new mommy killed both herself and one of her children because of this dread disease. Pray and move to help these women and men.

Hello my name is Ebony and I'm a singer/writer and would love to write a film documentary on Melanie's life. Pleace contact me because more people need to be made aware of this serious illness. God bless you!

I remember reading about melanie when i was at the end of my pregnancy. i gave birth to a daughter in July of 2001. i also remember reading and seeing the story of Andrea Yates at that time. i had suffered post-partum depression after the birth of my son in 1990 but being a very young mother i had no idea what i had been going through. the depression was quite severe after my son but it could not compare to the terrifying experience i had after my daughter was born. after my first pregnancy i only had thoughts of hurting myself. after my daughter was born i began having fears and thoughts that i would hurt her.

i am concerned for and about women who come forth about post-partum depression and psychosis. i fear that they do not always tell the whole story. sometimes i think that it hinders rather than helps women who have thoughts about hurting their children in comeing forward to get help. i urge anyone who has thoughts or feelings of hurting themselves or their child(ren) to come forward and get help. talk to others. you will be accepted. you will be loved. but most importantly you will be helped.

This is such a terrible disease... I am also a profesional, married mother who thanks God everyday I have no direct experience with this illness. I firmly believe there is no better cause than yours and thank you for sharing your beautiful daughter and her story.

Thank you so much for getting involved in this terrible condition. So sorry that you had to but you are doing the right thing. I have been searching for answers to what happened to me 6 weeks after I had my baby girl 1 year ago and I know now. It was postpartum psychosis and I was lucky enough to come out of it. Doctors don't know enough or seem to care enough and simply push you off and call it hormones.It's very sad to see that there is so little research and no one can seem to explain it. Thank you for your research efforts and I will be visiting that link.

Hi Carol I met you and your grandaughter at the American Girl Store. I was there with my daughter. I want to thank you for directing me to this site, what an amazing mother you are. This has fueled many conversations in the past weeks about what we say as women to other women. It's funny how no one ever speaks about some of the depression that also comes with being a mother and then how you are made to feel so inadequate if you actually speak ok it. As a mother of 4 I just want to say thank you for sharing your daughters story.

Thank you Carol for sharing your daughter's story about Post Partum Psychosis. You are saving lives by raising awareness about this illness that is too often swept under the rug. I went through PPD two years ago after the birth of my daughter. It was a horrible experience and a lonely time for me. Luckily, I found this PPD support group and met alot of great women going through the same thing. They were so supportive and they gave me hope that I could get through this dark, depressing time and that it wasn't my fault that this happened to me. I have survived and am doing well. I'm expecting another baby in a few months and am prepared to get help if I end up going through it again. I don't expect I will though. So sorry for the loss of your daughter. She is an angel helping others now in spirit and she has you to thank for this and for keeping her memory alive. God Bless!

I remember doing the walk with you,such beauty and strength thru the years i have though about you often you and the grandbaby are always in my prayers.
Love

Found your site while searching for some information for my self. I am so sorry, GBU and your family.

I recently traveled to Oregon where my daughter in law is suffering from post-partum psychosis. Our family is currently in the initial denial phase, but I was a Children's Social Worker in L.A. County and I know the severity of the situation....I cried when I read your touching story regarding your daughter Melanie...God bless you and her baby and thank you for all you are doing today......

found your page while looking for postpartum help for myself. i have felt so low lately, i just want to walk out on my son, but haven't, i love him too much but the battle with myself everyday tears me apart.

Found your site while looking for information to try to help my daughter in law. She delivered five weeks ago, and is having difficulty dealing with the baby and/or my son at night. She screams at my baby/son and last night, she threw something and hit her husband. Two nights in a row, she has wished he was dead, and hoped that he would get killed on his way to work in a car wreck. They are staying with me, and are all living in one bedroom. They have a place to move, and as soon as it is finished with some repairs, they will be moving out soon. However, I am worried that she has the post partum depression, but she says not.

As painful as this must be for you, I believe you are being led by God to help others and know he will give you the strength to continue. I am so sorry for your loss and admire you for having the courage to bring help to others.

From personal experience, with addiction rather than PPD, the message to strong, successful women needs to be made very clear, and repeated often: ASK FOR HELP. If a strong women doesn't ask for help, but obviously needs it, then intervene. She may be unwilling or unable to overturn a pattern that has worked so well in the past -- solving her own problems.

Godspeed to you.

Thank you for all you are doing and have done to make more people aware of this awful disease. I am very sorry for your loss, she seemed like such a beautiful person. I also suffered severe PPD and before my child was born, not one person mentioned the words Postpartum depression. I felt like such a monster for a long time. My daughter is now 4 and we are agonizing over the decision to have one more child. Thanks again for all you have done.

oh my gosh!!!! this was intersting and im srry to hear what happend to the family!!!! :-( i hoep the baby is still ok and is doing great!

:-( My prayers

I am a RN @ a local hospital on the postpartum unit. I have taken the cause of PPD/mood disorders under my wing and am working with our mental health/social work department/OB MDs to create a plan for screening of mothers prior to DC from the hospital. We are also planning to increase our education given to moms before DC. I suffered from PPD with my 1st and 2nd child. Luckily with #3 and #4 I did not, however I will never forget the utter dispair I felt during those times. Thank you so much for all your hard work! I can only hope that TX will jump on board with similar legislation.
God Bless you, your son-in-law and granddaughter.

Hello. I am currently suffering from PPD. I read the book "A Daughter's Touch" and thats where I first heard about Melanie Stokes. I had to google her and find out more, and I came acros this website. I am so happy that people are trying to make it more known. I had no clue anything about it until it happened to me. Great website.

Thank you for sharing this story. I'm 33 weeks pregnant with my third child. I experienced PPD 10 months after my first child and it was so traumatic I feared relapsing for years. I suffered without treatment because of my own irrational thinking for a year. My second child I did suffer from it but it lasted a week. I was fine. Knowing all this and 8.5 years later and being 33 weeks pregnant the fear of it happening again has knocked me into lots of anxiety. I've spoken to many doctors from my clinic and they act like the are so unaware of what I'm talking about. I have never felt so alone. Thank you for posting this painful but REAL story on the net for others to see they are NOT abnormal.
R.

I'm 39 years old, happily married, college educated and the administrator of a local hospital. I'm here to say that Post Partum Depression can happen to anyone. It happened to me. I had severe post traumatic stress and depression after the birth of my daughter 4 years ago. I suffered from anxiety attacks, irrational thoughts and suicidal thoughts. I could actually relate to Andrea Yates. I was terrified I was losing my mind. It was very hard to find the help & support I needed. I finally did get the help I needed but it was a long road filled with guilt and shame. I found that PTSD & PPD are taboo subjects and no one wants to talk about them. I'm here to talk about it- to say I survived it and so can you! You might have to see several doctors or therapists and try many anitdepressants but eventually you will get better. Talk about your experience to anyone who will listen! Everyone needs to be aware that PPD/PTSD is real and can be treated. I thank God everyday that I was one of the lucky ones, I got helpbefore it was too late. My heart goes out to Melanie's family. I hope that together we can prevent this tragedy from happening to another family. Please let me know if there is anything I can do to help. Thank you.

Tracy

Nice website. I am battling PPD and can use all the help I can get. It helps to read other's stories. Unfortunately, some end tragically. Sorry for your loss.

Carol,

I am a therapist/ Jungian psychoanalyst doing a paper on PPD. Thanks for your honesty and bravery on behalf of your lovely daughter, and so many other women.
I will call you-- would like to get a bit more info-- thank you!

This is a great insight into this disorder! I have recently come across this in a placement as a student nurse!

Carol I met you & your granddaughter yesterday at the Art Institute. I was moved by the brochure you gave me & as requested I did pass it on. You are a good strong woman & it was an honor to meet you.

Thank you for posting such an important sight. As I read I empathized greatly. With my son who is now 3 I experienced Postpartum Depression. Postpartum Psychosis I understand is a bit more different, although the depression I experienced was quite severe and the most scariest time of my life. I did make it through and have changed as a person and a mother. I am very happy that awareness and education regarding this illness is happening. :-)

I am doing a report on postpartum psychosis and i found your page it has wonderful information
Thank you!

This is great site. I was lucky enough to see Carol speak on 12/3/07 and her story moved me. I wish more people could have the opportunity to see her.

I am so sorry for your loss. I was researching for information on Postpartum Pyschosis when I stumbled across this article. I hope you don't mind that I share this information with others in my Nursing program. We are studying postpartum complications at this time and I think the pictures and article will bring home the point that this could hit anyone.

Again I am very sorry, your daughter was very beautiful.

Carol, I'm sorry for the loss of your beautiful daughter. Thank you for the work you've done to promote help for moms with post partum depression.

Carol,
I just happened to come across your website while researching on PPD. Just dropped by to say, Hats off to you Carol! Sommer is blessed to have you in her life and so is Melanie. You have fought and won the battle for her and for so many others who silently undergo this trauma. I know the damage that has happened is irrevocable however I pray to god to bless you with all the strength to cope up with the loss.

Thank you for shining a light on this illness. I suffered in silence when my first child was born and continue to do so but it is getting better.

Have a good life and always let Sommer know she is OK and illness can touch anyone. It is no respector of persons. :-)

Thanks.

:-) I am a survivor of PPD. Thank you for all of your continued work and courage.

I am a survivor of PPD. I was extremely depressed after my first son. Many people around said it was because I was young (20) at the time. I had my second son six years later. Around the third month of my pregnancy I started to fall into a depression. By the time I had him I was completely off my rocker. It took me seven years before I even started to feel ok. I had horrid thoughts of ending my life. The only thing that kept me from going that far was knowing I would have to leave my sons behind. Then I started to have thoughts of taking my children with me. Right around the time I started to have these thoughts, Andrea Yates' story hit the newspapers. That is when I realized what was happening. I fully understood that what was happening was PPD. I give this credit to my high school teacher also. I first learned about PPD in high school. From that point on I worked really hard at trying to change my thought process. It has been 15 years since the birth of my first son and I am still working at getting better. I no longer have those horrid thoughts running through my head; now I am trying to forgive myself for having those thoughts.

Thank you for sharing your daughter Melanie's story.I found this site while researching for my thesis. I would like to ask if anyone willing to share their experience with PPD would be willing to email me. I'd greatly appreciate it. I suffered with PPD after my daughter was born in 2003. I was in the Navy at that time, but have since finished my service and have gone back to college. I am working on a dual degree (my BA and MS concurrently) in criminal justice. I am starting my thesis next semester. It is about the CJ System and Women suffering from postpartum illness. I would like to be able to include personal experiences with this disease into my thesis. Anyone willing to write, please email me at kduncan_thesis at yahoo dot com

I found your site while doing general research on Psychotic Depression. Thank you for being so corageous and providing this helpful information. My 16 year old daughter has been diagnosed with psychotic depression. Her psychiatrist told me psychotic depression is very similar to PPP. I believe in her psychiatrist and trust her care. My daughter is improving every day and has no psychotic symptoms as long as she is on a theraputic dose of anti-psychotic medication. She also takes daily doses of a mood stablizer an antidepressant and an antianxiety medication. I am just so concerned that even with close care and support she will have breakthrough symptoms and without warning, harm herself. Carol, was your daughter on theraputic doses of all her meds when she harmed herself? I am torn on advocating for hospitalization for my daughter until she is "cured" to have 100% certainty about her safety. But her healthcare team says that breakthrough symptoms aren't very likely and that she is improving enough to not be hospitalized.

I am doing a project for policy for my MSW degree and I was debating over two bills. After I read about this bill, I decided to advocate for this one. I am a mother and a grandmother, and it is devistating when even one women suffers like this, but there are so many who do. I also work for a social service agency for new moms and expectant moms so I see many different outcomes after a pregnancy. Thank you for getting this problem recognized and hoefully addressed.

Carol, I remember vividly when I heard the awful news of your daughter. I, too, suffered from postpartum psychosis in 1999 with the birth of my first daughter. It is amazing to me that I almost lost my life to this because of the lack of understanding by medical staff. I suffered for weeks before pleading for help. Yet, the emergency room told me it was normal not to sleep for over a week and to lose 30 lbs. in 4 weeks after my daughter was born. This was after I explained that I could not eat or swallow. I was up all night because my mind could not rest, not because my baby was up. Please keep my email and let me know if there is any way for me to help educate the appropriate people on this disorder.

MAY GOD GIVE STRENGTH AND COURAGE TO THOSE DEALING WITH POSTPARTUM DEPRESSION... YOU ARE NOT ALONE. I PRAY FOR YOU TO FIND HOPE AND SEEK HELP... FOR THOSE DEALING WITH PSYCHOSIS...YOU ARE FORGIVEN.

Thanks for sharing your story.

Sommer is blessed to have you in her life.

May GOD's peace forever be with you.

I found your site today through Postpartum Progress. Thank you. And thank you for your work on behalf of women who succumbed to PPPsychosis. The first time I posted on my blog about Andrea Yates and the compassion I felt for her through my own battle with severe ppd I was caught off guard by a commenter who slammed me several times over for not wanting to string her up. It is nice to find others that understand.

Carol, I would like to express my deepest sympathies in regards to what you and your family, especially your daughter had to suffer through. As I have suffered from PPD, I know firsthand the horribleness of this disease. It takes away your strength, your character, your soul. It makes an otherwise strong, confident, caring woman feel worthless, and weak, and lost.
We met for the first time officially yesterday. I spoke at a PPD forum that you also attended. I am overwhelmed by the emotion by having come full circle. I want to express how truly powerful the experience was for me, and hopefully, I was able to help that one person.
They say things happen for a reason. For over three years, I have wondered what the reason for my suffering from PPD was. Yesterday, I found the answer. I want to help. Please feel free to contact me for whatever reason. :-)

I am trying to find out more about this terrible condition because I have recently met and become friends with a young woman who is suffering from this.
She seems so sad and frail.
She has allowed me into her "world" and I think she is so brave and she is trying so hard to cope.
I am here for her and have had her over because she called me and said " I need help". She wanted to come over and just be with me, which I was more than happy for her too.
Her children are safe and at her parents. Her husband seems kind and supportive.
How I ache for her.
Any suggestions on how I might help her better?
She is so sweet and I want to do anything to help her.
J. :-(

I wrote a few years back. I can't believe how time flies. I had postpartum depression with my son. He will be 12 soon. I also "started" to feel it after I had my daughter 8 years ago. It took me a long time to realize I was not crazy.I was told by people that "I was jealous that the baby was getting attention and not me." It was horrible. I only believed it was going to get worse, so a week before Christmas in 1995, I tried to take my own life. I am truly grateful to God that something made me pick up the phone and call an ambulance to take me to the E.R. From there, I was introduced to Dr. Mian. I was one of her first patients. She is a psychiatrist that specialized in PPD. I just seen her and it has been almost 12 years since she saved my life. She was the only person who could get through to me and did not stop helping me until I could function as a mommy. She was the footprints in my sand. She is out of Willowbrook, Illinois. If anyone is suffering from PPD, I can't emphasize enough how much she can help you. I would not be here today if it was not for her. After reading about the legislation being passed, I said a prayer and felt a sense of relief that this is being recognized. In the last 12 years, so much has come out about PPD. I pray that your days are filled with smiles and laughter. I am sure your daughter is very proud of you. She knows that you did not stop until something was changed. You are truly an angel. Sincerely, Julie

I am ecstatic to see someone so devoted to the cause. I pray the new legislation will draw so much attention that a new mother is certain to get proper treatment. There has never been anything like this. Thank you for helping new mothers!

Congratulations on the passing of the Melanie Blocker Stokes Postpartum Depression Research and Care Act, as I noticed that it was passed in the House of Representatives by a vote of 382 - 3!! This is a great day for all moms who have suffered and those who will in the future not suffer as our loved ones did. You go girl! You are a persistent woman. It was great to see you when you came to DC for Mothers Day. I hope to see you when President Bush signs it into law!

I'm so sorry to hear about your daughters battle with postnatal psychosis. I recently lost one of my best friends to this and your website gave me hope when I felt helpless. I plan to raise awareness and try and save lives.

I was so sorry to read about Melanie's battle with postpartum psychosis and the loss of her life and her potential. I suffered from progressively worse postpartum psychosis with each pregnancy. I was lucky that I had an OB-GYN that was very attuned to the danger of this illness. Untreated postpartum depression and psychosis can have far reaching implications for the mothers and their children. Thank you for you wonderful site, and your granddaughter is beautiful. Once again, I am sorry for your loss, but I am thankful for the help your site brings to many people.
thank you and god bless.
jacki

My friend recently took her own life after suffering from post natal psychosis. She hid it from everyone. Its the most devastating illness and I plan to raise awareness to help save lives.

Never experienced this before through two pregnancies, but I can relate to depression.

HELLO,

IT'S FUNNY THAT I'M DOING A PAPER ON POSTPARTUM DEPRESSION AND I HAPPEN TO FIND THE TOPIC OF MELENIE'S BATTLE AND THE ACT THAT IS BEING APPROVED NOW AS OF SEPTEMBER 27, 2007. IT IS HORRENDOUS THAT SINCE 2001 THIS ACT HAS BEEN IN PROGRESS AND THE HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES DID NOT APPROVE IT. MELENIE'S ACT WOULD ONLY BENIFIT POSTPARTUM WOMEN IN ALL WAYS. YOU KNOW WHEN I SEEN MELENIE'S FACE HOW PRETTY SHE WAS AND HOW MUCH YOUTH SHE HAD I GOT SO TOUCHED AND I REALLY WAS ABLE TO SYMPATHIZE FOR THE POSTPARTUM DEPRESSION AND POSTPARTUM PSYCHOSIS WOMEN. SOMETIME WHEN YOU LINK A FACE TO A PROBLEM OR ENCOUNTER YOU JUST GET TOUCHED OR OVERWHELMED WITH SADNESS.

YOU KNOW I REALLY THINK THAT IT IS UP TO ALL PEOPLE TO PRESS AND WRITE TO THE APPOPRIATE CONGRESSMAN SO THAT CHANGE CAN BE IMPLEMINTED AND HEALTH CARE POLICIES CAN CHANGE TO BENEFIT THE WOMEN AND THEIR FAMILIES MORE.

FAMILY OF MELENIE CONTINUE TO STAY BLESSED. ADDITIONALLY, OTHER WOMEN AND FAMILIES ENCOUNTERING THESE ISSUE PLEASE SEEK HELP AS SOON AS YOU ENCOUNTER THE PROBLEM SO THAT EARLY INTERVENTION CAN BE SOUGHT.

I am suffering from some these symptoms and Iwould like to know if there is anyway I could get this without medication. Will this go away on it's on or will it worse without treatment?

Carol, I am a psychology student at the Illinois Institute of Technology and am writing a paper on this issue. My professor actually showed a film in our class that had a feature on your daughter. I did a search about her story and came accros this site. I wish you and your beautiful grand daughter and son-in-law all the best in spreading experience and information on this matter. I hope Sommer can grow to understand that the woman who jumped from that building was not her mother but what was left after the psychosis took her away. Please don't ever let her think it was her fault or that her mother didn't love her. Show her who her mother really was. Never stop fighting, you'll make your voice heard. With much love, Tricia.

I am so sorry for your loss. I will keep you all in my prayers....

May God Bless Melanie's Family and Friends during this time of grievance. I will do my part of informing others about Post Partum Depression. I am truly sorry for you loss.

God Bless you....

:-(

Bless everyone who has been through this.

What an amazing way to pay tribute to your daughter and to raise awareness on such an important issue.good luck and God bless you!

Carol,
I spoke with you a few months ago and I have to say that I think that you are an amazing woman. I gave my son up for adoption when he was 7 weeks old. I had so much anxiety and fear when I was with him that I could not function.I had lost 50 lbs in 7 weeks, I wasn't able to sleep and I was not eating very much. The adoption has been an open adoption and I have had contact with him. I tried to explain to the family what I was going through at the time and I asked them to give him back to me before the adoption was final. They felt that they had also bonded with him and could not give him back to me. I don't think I will be able to see him anymore as they feel like I put them in a difficult position. I miss my son and think about him every day. This experience has definitely been something that I don't want anyone else to have to experience. I would like to get involved and talk to other women and try to put together resources so women can be diagnosed and receive appropriate treatment. I had seen 2 doctors and 2 psychologists in the 2 weeks before I placed him and I don't feel I got the treatment that I needed. I would appreciate it if you would give me a call when you can. I would like to see if you can give me any ideas of how to get started. 801-548-0443
Thanks, Jennifer

I suffered from severe PPD after the birth of my second child in April of 2006. Unfortunately, no one made me or my husband aware that this illness was a possibility and the dire effects it could have. I ended up taking the life of my son, Alex, one day before he turned three weeks old and tried to commit suicide the same morning. Carol Blocker contacted my husband immediately, and wrote me faithfully throughout my five years of incarceration. She is truly a special woman and I thank her for all her love and support. Her efforts to increase awareness of PPD issues are unwavering, and I hope that I can help her by sharing my story. Please tell someone if you are experiencing any abnormal thoughts, feelings or behaviors during or after your pregnancy - early detection is crucial! I would be happy to correspond with anyone who has questions for me.

Mrs. Blocker, it was such a pleasure to meet you and Sommer this afternoon. Your level of committment to this very important subject matter is admirable. Diana and I will work diligently to have you as a guest speaker at the medical college. Take Care

Carol... Your courage and conviction to make your loss someone else's gain is beyond inspiring and moving. You have a beautiful spirit that radiates and touches others. And your granddaughter Sommer is such a joy! Your lovely family will be in my prayers... I look forward to having you at our school as a guest speaker in the near future.

During you work with legislation - please make sure it is not for the standardized testing traditional medicine performs. Hair testing, saliva testing, deficiencies or concentration in heavy metals, etc., can have serious affects on mental health and hormone balances. Please seek further into the holistic research and testing, i.e., orthomolecular physicians. Through my experience this is where the help lies. My sincerest sympathy - and much luck.

I suffered this condition when I had my 2nd child. I was lucky it was not a bad case. It was brought on by the death of both of my parents when I was 8 months pregnant. I am currently doing a research paper on the cause and affects of the illness. I am so glad there is more awarness and support for this. :-)

I am a friend of a mother that suffered from this disorder. She took the life of her child and is now looking at 26-30 years in prison. I feel as though I am meant to do something, yet I am not sure what that is. Any ideas are welcome. Thank you

How profoundly, inexplicably painful.

How courageous of Carol to continue to visit this issue... everyday. I know it's something that she can never avoid, but her love for Melanie in how she reaches out to others is clear.

I also know that Melanie's daughter is being raised knowing how wonderful, bright and beautiful her mother was and I wish the absolute best for everyone that knew Melanie and had to keep moving forard for the sake of her daughter since that day in 2001.

i suffered with severe pnd with my first child last yr in may 06, then i battled to get better with no medication, as i got pregnant again 4 months after my first baby! i then felt the beginning of pnd coming again after the birth of my 2nd child. to this day i struggle sometimes and am so glad to be out of the nasty black hole i was in.
i feel for anyone who was in a simialar or worse situation as it was the worst time of my life.
for those who have gone and left us here on earth whilst suffering, you are finally at peace and i hope you are in a better place.
for those who have been left behind my heart goes out to you but remember, they arent suffering anymore.

I WORK IN A OB/GYN CLINIC,AND SOMETIMES I AM AMAZE HOW MANY SUFFER PPD.I JUST HOPE YOUR WORK WILL REACH ALL OF THE ONES THAT NEED HELP DESPERATLY.I AM SO SORRY FOR YOUR LOST,BUT MELANIE WILL ALWAYS LIVE IN OUR HEARTS.GOD BLESS YOU AND YOURS. :-) :-(

Hello, I suffered from severe postpartum psychosis after giving birth to my first child. I was extremely depressed, had paranoid delusions, was unable to drive , experienced memory loss, and was just unable to function on a daily basis. I had suicidal thoughts during that period and actually began to cut myself to take away the emotional pain. I am happy to say that I am a survior of this atrotious disease. However, I am currently pregnant with my third child. I am in the final trimester, and am experiencing depression and hormonal episodes. I still struggle with self harm. That is one lingering nightmare that remains from my postpartum psychosis several years ago. I am experiencing a great deal of anxiety that the psychosis will return after I give birth this time around. I was actually about to cut myself this morning, and I stumbled across this site. It has been a life saver for me this morning. I can only pray that the short story I leave here touches someone else in the same way. I would love to pay it forward. Thank you, Carol for this site! I'm sorry about your loss. Have some comfort in the knowledge that Melanie's life and death had and continue to have such a great purpose. Thank You!

I have found this site after researching PPD. When I had my son, everything was good. About two months later, I started acting strange. I had vertaully no short term memory, I staggared when I walked, slurred and stutteres when I spoke. I was found unfit to drive by the county department of Human Resources. I went for numerous tests and Dr's appt's. No one could find anything.
Today, I have to take medication for depression. Some of the symptoms from the past still show their ugly face. I find it difficult to concentrate, I will still stutter occasionally,I almost have no short term memory and sometimes space out. I am very interested in this as I feel it still affects me and my every day life. I hope someone will contact me back as this could be detremental to a person who still suffers something and it has not been diagnosed correctly.

Dear Carol,
Effective August 27,2007, Governor Blagojevich has signed into law, The Postpartum Mood Disorders Prevention Act.
This is good news for you as well as for me and all the future child bearing moms. It has been nearly five years since I last saw my daughter.

Carol, I happened to have been at the front desk of the Prairie Police Station on that day back in June, 2001 when you came in to report that your daughter was missing. I remember how you leaned and clung to the front desk as you tried to explain some of the circumstances that made Melanie's situation urgent, and, I remember how the Officers could not glean nor relate to what you were actually trying to say, and how they, somewhat, casually, dismissed you. I saw your aloneness and desperation as you fidgeted and left the station. Since then, I know that you have had the support and understanding of your sisters, and, with your heroic efforts to keep Melanie's story alive, you have also gained the support and understanding of the world community. My prayer is that you have peace and resolve. Sommer is a beautiful child, and, you, Carol, are a beautiful, strong, courageous mother and grandmother.

Carol,

God Bless you and your family..

I would just like to say sorry for your loss and stay strong. This is the first time i have ever heard about your daughter's story. I was reading the paper about the Tiwari family and saw your website.I hope the public listens to what yousay because it helps.

Hi Carol, Walter & Eric. I was very saddened to hear of Melanie's death years ago. I worked at 35 E. Wacker, next to Walter,Eric & Melanie. I loved talking to them occasionally. Melanie and Eric were always so sweet, and always had a smile :-)and good things to say. I am glad to see that some good will come to others who suffer, through this site and the legislation that Congress is working on. Thank you and good luck. :-) Julie A. Roberts

First, let me say how sorry I am for your loss. The first time I ever heard of post pardum depression was when my younger sister had her first child and she had thoughts of wanting to hurt her. Her doctor put her on meds right away and she has been great since then. She has even had another child and did display any symptoms of ppd.

It's so wonderful of you to share your story. Thank You!!! :p

I had ppdepression 14 years ago and Doctors had no idea what was wrong with me. Thank Goodnes that my family support was strong and God was good to me. I did not harm my baby or my 4 year old daughter at the time. I have two great girls now 18 and 14 years young. If it wasn't for my family support I don't think I would be where I am today. But DRs need to be alot more senstive to mothers who are dealing with this when carrying the child and after they give birth.....

This site is a great resource for ppd awareness. I am a mother of 2 who didn't have ppd with my first but got it with my 2nd. I promised myself and God that if I got through PPD, which I did, that I would help other women through this.

For the last 3 years I have volunteerd on ppdsupport page. I am now one of the administrators and reach out to women in need for answers and support regarding ppd. For the last year or so I have been volunteering for PSI, IL. We did just have a local tradgedy that maybe could've been avoided had we just been able to connect. This can only happen with AWARENESS in our hospital delivery rooms, ob's offices, and with the proper media coverage.

This just can't happen again!


If you are a new mom and need help contact us. ppdsupportpage got me through the roughest times.

Check out the links on this page.
You don't have to go through this alone.

We are with you!

Venessa Nickel

Hi Carol,
I am so sorry for your loss. This is a great site. I suffered from ppp and was in the hospital for 6 weeks and received 8 ect treatments.This is a very serious thing that can happen to anyone. Making people more aware of ppp and ppd is what should be done more our society. I never understood what was happening to me at the time but I am well aware now. Thank you so much to my family and I love you all for everything that you have done for me.

Thank you for your information. My sister in law is going through this right now. It is so heart breaking. I am at a loss as what to do to help her. She was admitted into the hosbital tonight. Any thoughts on what I can do to support her, or what I could say to her? Thank you.

Great site. Here in Chicago, just last Thursday, we lost a wonderful mother of 2 to this silent killer. An absolute tragedy that could have been prevented if diagnosed properly.

I suffered from ppp after my first pregnancy. I also was unaware at the time of what was happening and felt very ashamed and afraid to tell anyone what was happening to me. Finally, after having 5 thoughts in a 15 minute period of harming and/or watching my son die, I couldn't take it anymore and told my husband. After coming off the birth control pill that my doctor had put me on 4 weeks after my son was born, and going back to work so that I could get time away from my son, (my husband stayed home with him) we struggled through it and everything turned out okay. I had lapses for probably a year or two, where at times thoughts would happen, but through the support and prayers of many friends and family members, we have gone on to have 2 more children without any more problems of ppp. I am saddened by the stories that I read about those who fall victims of ppp, and I would love to get this message out to anyone and everyone about the seriousness of it. I am so glad about the work this site and Carol are doing to help get this life- threatning illness out in the open.

Hi I have suffered ppp twice but when my children were around 2yrs old I was hospitalised. I would like to work and do further studies in this area in partically a support group in sydney. I understanding the suffering of the illness and would like to educate the public to raise further support and awarness. Best wishes to all you suffers and their families :-)

Hi,
My wife and I have a 2 year old daughter. My wife is acting really strange the last few months now. She kinda gets angry at everything, is constantly bored and feels no thrill in doing anything. I fear that this could be related to post-partum. But is it possible even AFTER 2 years. I would love to hear your opinion. please e-mail me, because I don't want her to know that I posted this. Thank you

I had a complete psychosis and was hospitalized for one month. I am undergoing ECT treatments. I hope to help you get the word out about how serious PPD is. I actually dropped my baby on the floor, but she's fine. I can't help but ask WHY? All I've ever wanted was a baby.
It is my goal to do research and have a simple blood test to detect the hormone issue. I am starting a company and 10% of the proceeds are going to research. all I want to do is love my baby like I used to. This has been a nightmare. I still look at my baby and feel fear and sadness. THankfully my mother is caring for us. :-(

Deepest sympathy for your loss x

I send my deepest condolances and great gratitude.

Hi Mrs. Blocker!

Hope you remember me, I was in your 4th class the last year you were teaching, but I hope Sommer is doing well and I hoping you're doing just as well. I'm a junior now at Curie Metro High and things are going just fine. Thanks for everything you taught me and hope Sommer can learn just as much as I did. Thanks plenty. :D

- Nina

I have been diagnosed with depression and anxiety for yaers before I had my now 6 month old baby. I also have an 11 year old. I have recently been told I have PPD. I tried the normal meds. I became manic, much worse. My husband insisted I try a homeopathic doctor. I am still oing crazy. Am I alone?

Hi. Ms. Blocker,
First, I want to tell you how sorry I am for your lost. I had my daughter in 1998 and I was sooo happy to have her, I bonded with her right away, however, I began battling depression immediatley. I didn't feel that I was a good mother. I wanted to seek help, but I was always afraid that my daughter would be taken away from me, so I just dealt with the depression myself. When my daughter was two years old, I finally told my ob gyne about the depression, and she diagnosed me with PMDD (pre menstrual disphoric disorder) I was put on zoloft which made matters much worst, I really wanted to die at that point. Of course, I didn't continue taking that medicine, I am now taking an herb called 5-htp. This seems to help me tremendously, however, I still have thoughts of death, it is the worst feeling in the world. I am a very happy person naturally, so I am able to put up a good front, but sometimes, I feel like I'm going to erupt. As I watched the news about Melanie, I felt her pain, I too felt as if something has popped in my head, but I don't feel that anyone understands me, I am glad you have this site, perhaps the information will save someone's life.

As a mother who has been under the grips of postpartum depression I know what it is like to look at your beautiful new baby and not feel the joy that a new mom is supposed to, new moms are under so much pressure that it is hard to speak up and get help. Fortunately I was able to get help and now love being a mom to my two amazing little boys. I am so sorry for your loss and my heart goes out to you, but I want to thank you so much for making this website. The more that PPD and Postpartum Psychosis are talked about the more women that will actually seek help, it is an amazing thing that you can see past your grief to find the desire to help others, God Bless you and your family, and God rest Melanie, I'm sure that given the proper chance she would have been a great mom. I found this site because I am writing a research paper on Postpartum Psychosis for nursing school, and I was horrified that one of my instructor's had never even heard of it, so hopefully by picking this disorder over something common like bi-polar disorder I can educate my class about the seriousness of this psychiatric disorder.

We are so sorry for your loss. We know the battle you are fighting is a tiring one and we will keep you and your family in our prayers. By speaking out we all create an avenue of change and recognition for Postpartum Depression and Psychosis.

With love, Liana -Broken Moms Ministry

Hi, I've came across your website because I was searching informations about PPD and as I read your daughter's story I was in tears. I really hope that this site will inform people and help them to fight this terrible illness. You are an inspiration!

I visited your site over a year ago. I wanted to let you know that I've since published a book about my experience with postpartum depression. The Lifter of My Head: How God Sustained me During Postpartum Depression is now available through Tate Publishing and will be released nationwide on July 3. You may view it/ order it now at Amazon, Barnes and Noble, Wal-Mart, and Target. Just wanted to share with you and your visitors. I continue to pray for you and all the great work you are doing for women and families.

I found this page doing research for my friend who gave her baby up for adoption due to the severity of her depression. I am sorry for your loss. I never realized how severe this disorder could be until I saw what my friend went through. She is now trying to get her baby back and is not having much luck. I hope this illness can become better recognized for future mothers.

:-( I'm in tears right now, from reading your daughter story. I feel so sorry that this happen to you and your loved ones. I always say everthing happens for a reason. I've had PPP. No one had warned or told me anything about it. But thank God I'm okay now. according to my culture beliefe. A woman not suppose to yell or scream( getting into arguments) after birth. That can trigger PPP. I feel like more people needs to be aware OF PPD or PPP. Especially young pregnant girls who have no one to help them through this phase.

Your site is great.I found it really amazing.Well keep it up.Moreover I would like to express my deepest thanks to everyone who made this website...
Well done!!!.I,ll visit again

:-)
I survuved PPP and I thank God for saving my life. I am so sorry for your lose. Thank you for being so brave and putting Melanie's story out here so others can be educated.

I myself suffered from PPD and did not know what is was until i went through it thank u for being an educator and getting the word out that this illness is out there and it is real.

I'm sorry to hear about your loss. Life is hard. I will pray for you! I have 4 boys! Life is hard! I have and do suffer from depression. I have been in treatment for a long time, I still feel bad. I have my son in treatment I hope it helps. GOD BLESS YOU!

Hi,
I came across your page. I too have suffered tremendously from PPD. The effects of what it did to me still linger. My life was in the right place and the child that I had was a very planned baby. I got what I wanted. A gorgeous baby girl, but as soon as I puched her out, I did not want her. It was horrible! I could feel the anxiety, physically. My ob/gyn was of no help. Luckily I recognized it and got help. Thank god because I don't know what I would have done. If everyone knew that PPD is the #1 most common complication from child birth, more of us would be here to tell our story. Melanie will always be in my thoughts. Thank you for a beautiful page and raising awareness.

I spoke to you the last couple days and you are in inspiration for me in assisting others to get help. Thank you!

so sorry to hear about your daughter and the battle that she sadly lost with postpartum psychosis. however, i am curious to know what became of her daughter and husband, and had you ever heard of the disease before your daughter had it?

Carol, I'm so sorry for your loss. After seeing today's loss of three children and their mother in Texas today, I was searching for answers. Why does something as horrible as this happen? In that search of postpartum psychosis, I came across your Website. Your beautiful granddaugther is in my prayers.

Carol~thanks for sharing your daughters story on this website! God bless you and your family. I was diagnosed with anxiety and major depressive disorder two years ago. I KNOW mine was due to a "hormonal event" and that is why pregnancy and having children scares me so bad. I don't know that I will ever have children. I don't ever want to be in that shape again~it was so scary!! Also, I work in the healthcare field so, everday I see doctors and nurses ignorance about psychiatric illness. That is why so many people do not get the help they need. Please continue your mission of spreading the word about this devastating illness and helping other woman!!

I have read Melanie's story and have cried many tears for her.

She was in pure mental hell and I can't imagine a creater pain for a mother to watch her own daughter slowly succumb to a mental illness.

Unforuntately, for some, suicide is the only relief.

I believe that society has not fully, due to ignorance, embraced the magnititude and effect mental illness has in people's daily lives.

I am very sorry for Melanie's mom that she lost her daughter.

However, the biggest loss is the one Melanie encountered in enduring severe PPD.

Hopefully, through education and compassion, humanity will be able to accept and support those with mental illnesses.

Wow. I was just released from the hospital for this condition. Here's hoping the meds work!!

The efforts of Mrs. Carol Blocker must have gained the attention of politicians because at my job a local Children's hospital we will begin screening mother's and guardians of children between the age of 0-1 to check for any signs of PPD and refer them to Health Care providers trained on this horrific disease.

I know when I talked to Mrs. Blocker over a year ago I stated I would be there any time she needed me. Please do not hesitate to post to me any time that help is needed.

:-( - Carol, it was a pleasure to meet you this weekend. I thought it would just be another flight. Our conversation really broadened my understanding of the severity of PPD. As I told you, I'm here and willing to help you in anyway possible.

You are most certainly in my prayers!

Yours,

-CJTII

:-( I do hope something positive and proactive can be done to implement more research and legislation on this subject so many may be spared this trauma in the future. God bless her family and friends.

:-) Thank yo for sharing this heartbreaking story. I myself have suffered and recovered from this devestating illness and have gone on to do public speaking and support groups. I am an advocate on the education of every soon to be mom on the signs and symptoms of PPMD as well as their partners. It strikes hard and fast and without warning it can ruin many innocent lives.

Thank you for furthering knowledge on these REAL diseases that have a major impact on people's lives.